Page 21 of In Your Eyes
“For as long as I’m Alpha, my duty is to protect the pack. The pack comes first.”
We’d both heard my father say those words time and again. She couldn’t argue about it with me. And she didn’t.
“I don’t want Eddie and Jen to see the fallout. I don’t want them hurt. And living here”—she moved her hand around, gesturing to our home—“without your father and someone else as Alpha will hurt all of us.”
She was right. Nothing would ever be the same again, and my brother and sister should be shielded as much as possible.
“I agree,” I said. “You should take them to Etzgadol.”
“And what about you?”
“The pack needs me. I have to put the pack before myself.”
Swallowing hard, she nodded. “But after things are resolved with the council, you’ll join us?”
My grasp on my wolf was so weak I was amazed I’d been able to shift back into my human form that day. It was more difficult than ever to keep my wolf at bay. The next time that part of me took over could very well be the last. But I would persevere long enough to avenge my father and ensure the security of my pack.
“Yes,” I said.
Lying wasn’t something my father condoned, but I hoped he would have agreed with my decision to spare my mother’s feelings in that moment. Besides, after my display in the battle ring, we both knew I’d likely never see her again, at least not in human form.
Though she looked sad, my mother smiled and said, “I’ll get your brother and sister so they can say good-bye to you before we leave.”
My grandfather and his father had built our house with their own hands. My mother had spent years updating it after my father took over as Alpha. My siblings and I had been born there. And because of Dirk Keller, it would no longer be home to the Goodwins.
The council members had said it would take several days to determine the contents of the syringe and compare it to my father’s blood. I had an idea of how to punish Dirk Keller, but I would spend that time refreshing my already solid knowledge of shifter rules to ensure justice would be served and he would suffer more than the loss of the challenge. Dirk Keller would regret what he did; he would beg for mercy, and then he would die.
TENDAYShad passed, and I hadn’t heard from the interpack council. I had spent the time researching the old texts to confirm my memory of the rules and reassuring the pack that they were safe, that their lives would not change, and that I would protect them. The research and packing was easy. Getting the pack members to fully trust me was not.
After years of being groomed to lead them, they still weren’t completely comfortable around me. My father used to say it was because I wasn’t completely comfortable around them, which was true. But then, I wasn’t completely comfortable around anybody, and I didn’t see why that had any bearing on my ability to protect the members and ensure the safety and prosperity of the pack.
Less than two weeks as their leader and I realized my father was right. Being strong, knowledgeable, and dedicated wasn’t enough. The pack members didn’t like me, and that created anxiety and discord. As it was, the main reason I received even grudging respect was my plan to avenge my father’s death. The pack members loved him, and knowing I would punish the man who took him from them went a long way toward earning their respect.
Already, I’d heard grumblings about my not being the right person to lead the pack, and they didn’t even know about my shifting problem. If that information got out, Rick Collins—the man who had been staring me down at every opportunity and making no secret about his opinion that he’d be a better Alpha—would gain the support of the entire pack, including those people who were loyal to my family.
I wouldn’t have minded as much if I’d thought Rick would make a good Alpha, but I didn’t. Knowing I would ultimately have to walk away from my pack didn’t change my duty to ensure they had a strong leader, and that would not be Rick. Once I finished dealing with Dirk Keller and eliminating the threat from outside our pack, I’d focus on finding the best leader from within our pack to take my spot.
My only hope was that I’d be able to keep my wolf caged that long. As it was, my skin felt hot and tight, I was having trouble sleeping and regulating my body temperature, and several times a day, I had to stand perfectly still and breathe deeply to keep myself from spontaneously shifting.
Pack members had been stopping by the house in a fairly steady stream—some to give their condolences, some to seek assistance from their Alpha, and others, I suspected, to test me to see if I was up to the job. So when the doorbell rang on Thursday afternoon, I assumed it was a member of my pack. When I reached the door, I was able to smell the man on the other side and I realized my wait was over.
“Anthony Lang,” I said as I opened the door. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
“Hello, Samuel.” He reached his hand out to me and I shook it. “I told you I’d be back as soon as we received the results from the tests on the syringe.”
“Yes, but I thought you’d call first.”
When he frowned, I realized my mistake. I hadn’t invited him in and I’d expected him to utilize human technology. Both things probably fell under my father’s definition of rude. I could be persuaded to agree about the former, but the latter was ridiculous.
It was neither the time nor the place for that debate, though, so I changed course and said, “Thank you for traveling all this way. Come in.” I cleared my throat and stepped back, leaving room for him to enter the house, and then, as an afterthought, said, “Please.”
“Thank you.” Anthony walked into the entryway and looked around. “Is your mother here? My wife asked me to pass along her regards and condolences.”
“No. My mother moved after….” I swallowed hard. “My mother, brother, and sister have joined the Etzgadol pack. It was too difficult to stay here.”
“Oh.” Anthony jerked back. “I had no idea. I’m surprised Zev Hassick didn’t mention it.”
Though I was new to the position of Alpha, I was not new to all it entailed. My father had kept me by his side for all decisions, large and small. There was no requirement—written or unwritten—to notify the interpack council when a family joined a pack. I would have asked Anthony for clarification in order to expand my knowledge base and ensure I acted appropriately as Alpha when the next family joined the Yafenack pack, but my wolf was scratching at me to get out with such desperation I doubted I’d remain Alpha long enough to welcome a new family to my pack.
