Page 6 of Ruthless Temptation
Now, all I’m doing is preparing for my metaphorical funeral. It’s like watching a car crash in slow-motion: you know how it’s going to end but you can’t look away. I’m that car—hurtling towards sure destruction with no way to stop it.
“None of that was ever to get your attention, sir,” I lie.
I want to tell him that my life is falling apart, but I decide against it. If this conversation is any indication, it would probably only make him more upset.
Professor Holmes laughs. It’s a full belly laugh that echoes in the empty lecture hall. He takes a few moments to steady himself, and during that time I think about how I’ve never heard him laugh like that before.
Under different circumstances, I would be committing that sound to memory.
“None of it was to get my attention?” he says, as if he’s truly amused. “If you’re going to lie, little girl, it would do you well to ensure you don’t keep friends with such loose lips.”
The blood drains from my face. He doesn’t keep me in suspense for long.
“I overheard a particularly spirited conversation on my way to class yesterday. Your friend, Cassidy Coldwell, stood talking of your obsession with me to a rapturous audience.” He smiles, but instead of warmth, all I feel is coldness.
I can’t believe Cassidy would do such a thing. I want the ground to open and swallow me. Not only has Cassidy betrayed my trust, but she’s also done the one thing I never expected her to do—she’s inadvertently told Professor Holmes.
He seems to enjoy my mortification, for his smile grows and he laughs again. It sounds like a death knell now. “Her language was very vulgar, I must add. Certainly not what I would expect you to be saying about me behind my back.”
This just keeps getting worse.
“I’m so sorry, Professor Holmes,” My voice is weak. I can’t even bring myself to meet his eyes. “I didn’t mean….” No, that’s a lie. “I didn’t know you would find out.”
He uses a finger on my chin to bring my gaze back to his.
The single touch ignites my entire body. Not only is this the longest conversation we’ve ever had, but it’s also now the first time he has ever touched me. I pull in a deep, shaky breath, trying to dispel the fluttering heat gathering deep in my belly.
“I’m sure you didn’t,” he says.
Now that he’s touched me, I’ve finally become aware ofjusthow close we are. I’m standing only centimeters away from him. If we both took a deep breath at the same time, our chests would touch. Silence falls between us for a few heartbeats, and all I can think about is just how illicit this moment feels even though nothing has happened.
“Do you want to know the real reason I’m upset, Tara?” My name sounds like a poem from his lips.
I don’t trust myself to speak, or even breathe for that matter, lest this fragile moment shatters. So I nod.
“I’m upset because you are my favorite student.”
Those words are kindling to the raging fire in my abdomen. It grows, spreading to my skin and the tips of my fingers. I suck my bottom lip between my teeth. “I am?”
Professor Holmes nods, his hand traveling from my chin to cup my cheek. “You are a delight to have in my class. I look forward to seeing you each week.” He runs his thumb along the bridge of my nose. “Your eagerness to answer my questions. The delight in your eyes whenever I look at you.” He pauses, his eyes flickering to my lips. “You make every single one of my classes enjoyable, Tara.”
My eyes burn once more, but I blink quickly to stop the tears from falling. I feel a little stupid that his words have this much of an effect on me. But it’s the first time I’ve ever heard someone express their appreciation for me without any strings attached.
“When you first started showing up late and sitting in the back, I couldn’t understand what had changed. It was like the light disappeared from you.” There’s genuine pain in his voice, as if I hurt him somehow. I open my mouth to speak but his thumb moves to my lips to silence me. “When I heard what Cassidy said, it started to make sense.”
I shake my head quickly. No, I don’t want him to think that. He cocks his head to the side, raising an eyebrow. “That isn’t the case?”
I nod.
“What is it then?”
He waits, finally allowing me to speak.
“There has just been…” I turn the words over in my mind, unsure of how to say this without ruining everything. The last thing I need is Professor Holmes’ pity. “There’s a lot going on in my life right now. My future isn’t going to be what I thought it would, and I’m having a hard time adjusting.”
Professor Holmes clicks his tongue. “That’s hardly any reason to ruin your education, Tara.” His tone is disapproving,but not as harsh as before. “What you learn and who you meet here at Saint Frederic can shape your future in unimaginable ways.” His hand on my cheek tightens a bit. “It’s a mistake not to focus in my class. I am a professor who demands everything of his students.”
I straighten at his words. It’s no secret Professor Holmes is one of the harsher teachers on campus. I never experienced it until now because I was always on his good side. The longer this conversation continues, the more I'm certain I won’t be able to beg him for an extension like Cassidy suggested.
