Page 2 of Ruthless Temptation
The heartbreak and fear are already fading into numbness. Heavy, all-consuming numbness that turns the world to grayscale. It’s like watching a rose wither in the sun, only I’m the suffocating rose, and I can’t even feel sorry for myself.
All my dreams are dead. All my hopes are destroyed.
All that matters now is my duty to my family.
“How long?” I square my shoulders, forcing myself to meet this head-on.
My father senses the shift in my mood; he straightens and adjusts the collar of his suit jacket. His face hardens, and he is all business again.
“Two months,” he says. “Your engagement will be announced when you come home for summer break.”
A painful squeeze in my chest makes my breath flutter.
“I’ll have to give up school?” I already know the answer, but it’s at least worth a shot. I’m almost finished with the first year of my Criminal Justice degree.
My father nods. “He will want an heir as soon as possible.”
The thought of carrying Nico’s child makes me nauseous. Despite my best effort, I can’t hide my scowl. My father’s eyes grow sympathetic. Though he and my mother’s marriage was arranged, they grew to love each other. Their love gave them three daughters and a son.
Though I never aspired to marriage, I always hoped that if I ever had children, it would be with someone I loved. Apparently, I don’t even deserve that. The children I have will be born from hate. What a cruel fate for them.
That’s the thought that has me biting back tears.
I thank my father for telling me instead of ambushing me with the news when I came home for the holidays and end the call. I sit in the attic for almost an hour after, pondering the turn my life has taken.
If I had known this could happen, I would have run away when I had the chance. Now it’s too late for that. If I run away, Nico will kill my family and hunt me down.
I spend the rest of the day in mourning.
I mourn the person I could have been, the happy ending I could have had. As much as I want it to be, this is nothing like the arranged marriages in the dark romance books I love. Nico isn’t a redeemable morally gray hero. He’s evil all the way through, with a soul that can’t be saved.
There’s only one way this can end for me—in blood.
2
It’s beenthree weeks since my father’s news shattered my whole world.
As it turned out, the numbness I felt on that day was the beginning of something much more insidious. It’s like all the meaning in my life has evaporated, leaving me with just a meaningless set of tasks that get more tedious with each passing day.
Nothing excites me anymore.
When I read my comfort books, the words swim on the page and don’t make it to my heart. When I listen to my favorite metal band—the one that got me throughallmy darkest moments—their words don’t soothe the ache in my soul. I don’t even feel excited about school because if I’m not going to be able to finish my degree, why does it even matter if I try?
My days have been a blur of waking up and trying to seem like everything is okay even though I’m falling apart on the inside. I can’t bear the shame of telling anyone of what’s about to happen. I can’t even think of it without crying.
Which only makes me hate myself more because Iabhorcrying.
I adjust my handbag and quicken my steps, even though I know that I’m already late. This class, Developmental Psychology, is the only one I still care about. I’ve looked forward to it every week since I started attending this school.
It’s the one thing that hasn’t changed.
As I approach the double doors of the lecture hall, I get out my phone. I use the front camera to ensure everything is in place. I smooth down the flyaways that freed themselves from my ponytail on the walk over, dab the sweat beading on my forehead and confirm my makeup is still as perfect as when I left my dorm.
When I’m satisfied, I take a deep breath and enter the classroom.
The heavy wooden double doors open into an auditorium-style lecture hall. I stand at the top of the stairs, scanning for an empty seat. The room is almost entirely full, as it’s nearly ten minutes into the scheduled time for our lecture.
My roommate, Cassidy, catches my eye and waves me over.
