Page 35 of Run, Run, Roommates
The difference being that Marco operates under the false impression that he is a bad person.
Whereas Greg truly is the devil in disguise.
My shift sucks. I’m running on fumes most of the night, and a few tables notice. My tips aren’t as great as the night before and I drop an entire tray of drinks. At least it wasn’t an arancini-in-the-purse situation again.
Plus, I checked my phone on break and I totally missed a burst challenge. It was only a one-pointer, but still. Marco and I could have totally found a dreidel and learned how to play.
I’m supposed to be full of holiday cheer right now, and instead I’m dead on my feet, behind the bar with Eva, counting up my tips and transferring my open tabs.
Which is why I think I’m dreaming when I see Marco take a seat at the bar. He’s hung his jacket on the back of his stool and he’s wearing . . .
An ugly Christmas sweater.
Unlike the “ugly” ones (not so much ugly as tacky) we’d looked at together when we’d first seen it on the list, this sweater is really, truly hideous. It looks like it was hand-crocheted, and whoever planned this atrocity didn’t understand how perspectives worked. The reindeer on the front has mismatched eyes and one of its legs is bent in a way that’s more likely to get it put down than successfully flying a sleigh. And the colors in the borders of the design are truly disturbing—the green is fine, but the red is actually hot pink, and there’s white speckles on the shoulders, which are maybe supposed to be snow but make it look like Marco has dandruff.
Eva is cackling. “Oh my god. I am DYING.”
“What are you wearing?” I ask, incredulous.
Guiltily, Marco reaches down to a bag at his feet and pulls out another ugly sweater. This one is mostly black, but with an enormous Santa head on the front, complete with a hat and a giant beard, which actually dangles down past the hem. It’s like a flap on the front of the sweater. But the worst part is that Santa looks sad. He has two beady eyes and his beard parts to expose a thin mouth that’s either designed to be frowning or has sagged as it’s been worn.
“Sorry.” Marco’s face doesn’t look sorry. “This one’s too small for me.”
“Just when you thought they couldn’t get any uglier, huh?” Eva cracks. “Now come on, put it on so I can get a picture.”
I gingerly pull the sweater over my head. It at least smells clean.
Eva cackles as she takes our picture. She hands Marco his phone, and we strip the sweaters off. “Okay, before you go home, though, I’ve got to tell you this story. You won’t believe what I heard today.”
Marco sips his soda, amused. I blink and push back a strand of hair, trying to pay attention to my friend. “What?”
“Austin’s getting married.”
“Wait. I know Theo’s getting married—” Theo is one of the servers, and he plans to propose to his girlfriend over Christmas. We’re all ninety-nine percent sure she’s going to say yes, since they have two kids together and she’s been telling him he doesn’t get any more until he puts a ring on it. “But who’s Austin?”
“I met him on the app last year. We dated a few times. He took me to the Knicks game. Ringing any bells?”
“Vaguely,” I admit.
She explains to Marco that she’d gone on five dates with the guy, he’d been generous (which is saying a lot, given the nature of Sugary), and he’d been a bit of a romantic. Their dates had fizzled, at least on Eva’s side. And now, apparently, he’s engaged to the woman he met right after her.
I rub my temples. “Did you want to marry him?”
“Not really,” she admits. “But I was thinking about how Terry is also engaged now. And Zach. That’s three that I know about, and you know what they say, twice a coincidence, three times a trend.”
“So what are you saying?” Marco asks.
“Well, maybe my vagina’s magical.”
Marco snorts up some of his Diet Coke.
“You’ve slept with all these guys?” I ask.
Eva looks at me, and I quickly add, “Not in judgment. More of . . . awe? Assuming it was good, I mean.”
She shrugs. “Meh.”
Well, that sums that up. I hope that when I finally do it, I get more than mediocre sex. I try not to look at Marco when I have this thought. Because if the kiss was anything to go by, Marco does not have meh sex.
