Page 111 of No Greater Love
"Even better than the baby?"
"The baby is amazing, but you came first. You're the one who taught me I could be a mom. You're the one who made me want to be part of a family." I reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You made me brave enough to love your dad, and you made me believe I deserved to be loved back."
Paige was quiet for a moment, and I worried I'd said too much, gotten too emotional.
"That's really nice," she said finally. "But also, like, duh. You're awesome. Of course we love you." She grinned. "Plus, you make Dad smile all the time now. Like, all the time. It was getting weird."
I burst out laughing. "Getting weird?"
"He used to be so serious. Like, all the time. Responsible Dad Mode, twenty-four seven. But now he laughs at stupid stuff and sings in the shower and yesterday I caught him dancing while he was making dinner." Paige shuddered dramatically. "Dad dancing, Tasha. It was traumatic."
"I'll talk to him about that," I said solemnly.
"Thank you. Some things children should never have to see."
We dissolved into giggles, and I marveled at how easy this was. How natural it felt to joke and plan and just be with this incredible kid who'd somehow become mine.
"So tomorrow," Paige said, settling back into planning mode, "baby shopping, manicures, fancy lunch. What else?"
"Whatever you want," I said. "It's our day."
"Can we take pictures? For the baby book? I want them to know about all the planning we did before they got here."
"That's a perfect idea."
"And can we buy something little? Like a onesie or a stuffed animal? Something to put in the nursery so it feels real?"
My chest tightened with emotion again. "Absolutely."
"This is going to be so fun," Paige said, already reaching for her phone. "I'm going to text Maya and make her jealous. She doesn't have any baby siblings. All she has is her annoying older brother."
As I watched her type excitedly, sharing our plans with her best friend, I thought about how much my life had changed. A year ago, I'd been focused on my career, keeping people at arm's length, protecting myself from getting too attached to anything or anyone.
Now I was planning a girls' day with my eleven-year-old daughter, preparing to shop for my unborn baby, completely and utterly part of a family that had claimed me as fiercely as I'd claimed them.
"Hey, Tasha?" Paige said, looking up from her phone.
"Yeah?"
"I'm really glad Dad found you. Like, really glad."
"Me too, baby girl," I said, my voice thick with emotion. "Me too."
And as I kissed her goodnight and headed back to Nate, who was probably researching cribs or strollers or baby-proofing techniques, I realized that I'd never been more grateful for anything in my life.
I'd found my family.
And they'd found me right back.
forty-two
tasha
"I’mglad we chose the reveal cake," Paige said, consulting the checklist she'd made on her phone with scientific precision. "It's way more dramatic than balloons."
We were standing in the middle of my mother's backyard, which had been transformed into baby shower central. Streamers in every shade of yellow and green hung from the trees, tables groaned under the weight of food, and enough presents to stock a small baby store were piled on a dedicated gift table.
"Dramatic is definitely what we're going for," I agreed, watching Nate arrange chairs with the same methodical care he brought to everything else. "Your dad might have a heart attack from the suspense."
