Page 79 of Wicked Salvation
But he and I both know that he’s everything I can’t resist.
And now here he is, at my engagement party.
Staring atme.
My throat closes up.
The world narrows to our single thread of eye contact.
He lifts his glass of champagne slightly, a mock-toast. There’s no smile, and that’s when it hits me how much I miss his smiles. It’s been weeks since I’ve seen one, a genuine one. It’s like he’s daring me, somehow.
I drop my gaze.
But it’s too late.
My cheeks are already burning, my body betraying me in ways I haven’t felt since that night. The night that I try to scrub from my memory but dream of every time I close my eyes. The night he made me feel things I didn’t think possible.
Shame claws its way up through my throat.
It was the same night I said yes to Silas.
As if sensing the shift, Silas leans over, his breath warm against my ear. “You’re trembling, love.”
I freeze, looking down at the fork in my hands. It’s clinking slightly against the plate, enough to draw the attention of my mother and a few other guests at our table.
“I’m just a bit cold,” I lie.
He frowns and glances around. “I’ll have them adjust the heat.”
“No, you don’t have to,” I answer quickly.
Too quickly. My voice cracks.
Silas gives me a suspicious look, eyes narrowing. He follows my gaze toward the edge of the room. I hold my breath,expecting him to drag me to the bathroom and remind me why I’m his and no one else’s. There’s no reaction though.
Why?
Lucian’s no longer there.
I blink quickly. Did I just imagine him?
“You sure you’re alright, love?” Silas whispers, using his hand to turn my face to him. I’m staring into his eyes, and I haveno ideawhy but I feel tears brimming by my waterline. So I look down at his chin. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Maybe I did.
I give the best smile I can muster. “I’ll be fine, thank you.”
Though he looks skeptical, he lets me be.
The rest of the dinner passes by in a blur. I eat, I think. Conversation slides past me like water over glass. I laugh when I’m supposed to. I sip my wine, but I don’t taste anything. I’m unravelling.
If I hallucinated Lucian, it means that my mental health is getting worse. I can’t afford another trip to the hospital. Not now, not when so much is at stake. I’ve never even told Silas about my issues—it’s something I plan to keep to myself for as long as I can.
I can’t imagine him being supportive.
But if I didn’t hallucinate Lucian, and he’s actuallyhere…
I can’t even allow myself to finish that thought.
