Page 124 of Ruthless Chaos
I lay still, desperate to hold on to what I just experienced. Alexander is frozen above me. There’s sweat on his brow, his hair falling over his temples in messy strands. His chest rises and falls quickly, as if he’s just run a marathon.
When he opens his eyes, they are even darker than before.
He opens his mouth to say something then snaps it shut. I find that I don’t care to know what’s on his mind. I’m more focused on what just happened.
I made myself feel like that.
I didn’t know I had that much control.
I lick my lips. “I, I didn’t know I could do that,” I rasp.
He smirks. The color starts to come back to his face.
“Does it always feel this good?”
Alexander flops down beside me and tucks himself into his undershorts. All that’s left of my climax is a gentle, warm aura—and tiredness.
The fog in my head starts to clear, and as I stare at him, I can’t believe I begged him to have sex with me earlier. Heat prickles the back of my neck.
“No, it doesn’t.” He strips one of the pillows and uses the pillowcase to clean himself off my leg. “It helps to have a…visual aid.”
That’s good to know.
“I will think of you next time.” My eyelids start getting heavy. “I’m going to do it again. It felt quite good.” I mutter.
“Sounds like I’ve created a monster.” Alexander chuckles, tossing the pillowcase on the floor. “You were fucking amazing to watch.”
I burrow beneath the sheets, seeking the perfect spot. “Will you watch me again?”
His big arms encircle me, pulling me closer to him. I’m too tired to resist, and even then, I don’t want to. “Always, sweetheart.”
He kisses the back of my neck, tightening his hands around my waist.
If I could, I would cut this moment from my memory and keep it hidden away in a jar so I can relive it. This is the most peace I’ve felt since I’ve set foot on this campus.
Probably the most peace I’veeverfelt.
Of all the moments Alexander and I have shared so far, I like this one the most.
I’m not pretending with him, not anymore.
He knows who I am, and he doesn’t hate me for it.
Hewantsto protect me.
I feel safe.
I feel content.
I feel… loved.
Loved.
THIRTY
ALEXANDER
I waketo Alize snoring softly in my arms, her head buried in my chest.
