Page 13 of Someone to Hold
“I don’t,” he snaps, rolling his shoulders like he’s shrugging off some invisible weight.
“But you’re not going back to bull riding?”
“I already planned on retiring,” he says quickly. “Having the shit stomped out of me confirmed that decision.”
Chase Calhoun is a lot of things. He’s hotter than sin, a littlebit mysterious, all confidence and swagger, and about as sexy as any man I’ve ever laid eyes on.
But he isnota good liar.
I don’t call him out on it. Not when he’s agreed to provide the help I desperately need.
“There’s a lot to be done in the next few weeks. The timing of my injury couldn’t be worse.” My gaze drops to the denim plastered against his powerful thighs. He might look strong as an ox, but I noticed a slight hitch in his step yesterday after jogging to the end of the driveway. People around town talked after his accident at the rodeo last fall. The bull’s weight shattered his femur, and the rumor was he’d never walk without a limp, let alone get back on a horse again.
“Linda told me you and the kids are moving with her to Albuquerque.”
My stomach ties itself into a knot, and I smooth a hand over the leaves of a nearby plant, hoping the familiar gesture will work its usual magic and calm me. “That’s Linda’s plan. I have a different one.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Care to share?”
Cue the nerves dancing across my belly. It was one thing to commit to a new future with my friends surrounding me. It’s quite another to say the words out loud to a man who likely still doubts I’m capable of managing my own shit. But I made a promise to myself, and more importantly, to my children.
“I’m going to buy the farm.” My voice only shakes a little as I say the words.
Chase steps back like my statement reached out and slapped him across the face. My grandfather used the term “gobsmacked” when he was particularly shocked about something, and that sums up Chase’s expression perfectly.
“Are you sure? Do you have the money for it?”
No and no, I think in my head, but I nod and smile. “Yes, I’msure, and no, I don’t have the money yet. But I will and…well, I will.”
He draws in a slow breath and focuses on the rows of raised planters as if it’s too hard to meet my gaze. “That’s going to come as a shock to Linda,” he says after a few moments.
“Yep.” My heart hammers against my ribs at the thought of my mother-in-law when she finds out. Her disappointment, anger, and maybe a sense of betrayal that I’m not following through on our arrangement. But I have to do this for my kids. And even more, for me.
“If you talk to her again, I’d appreciate if you don’t mention it. Albuquerque’s not that far, and we’ll visit or she can stay with us. This was their father’s home, and it’s ours now.” I clear my throat, then whisper, “I love it here.”
His mouth opens like he’s got something to say to that, but he snaps it shut again, then turns to gaze out the greenhouse’s west-facing windows. The farm butts up against the National Forest on that edge, the thick trees forming a natural border to the fields.
“It’s okay if you don’t believe in me,” I say, even though I’m a little hurt by his reaction. Not that I have any right to be. Heck, I’m still working on believing in myself, mostly borrowing my friends’ confidence in the meantime. “But if I’m going to do this, I need help. At least until I can dr?—”
“Once more, I’m here for whatever you need.” He’s clearly frustrated that I didn’t take him at his word the first or second time. “Help with the kids and the flowers, plus acting as your damn chauffeur or?—”
“Don’t sound too thrilled about it,” I mutter, surprised when his shoulders lower like my sarcasm amuses him.
“I’ve been staying with my sister, which is a bit of a drive.” He’s finally looking at me again, and the emotion swirling in those pale gray eyes makes my breath catch. “It would be easier if I were closer.”
The thought of him sleeping under the same roof sends apowerful zing through my chest that I absolutely cannot afford to feel. Not with him.
“I’m a single mom with two young kids.” As if he doesn’t know that already. “I don’t feel comfortable with you staying at the house.”
He nods. “Totally agree, but if you’re okay with me parking my trailer next to the barn…it’s where I live when I’m on the circuit. I don’t like hotels.”
“Oh.” A trailer. Not with me. My pulse settles a smidge. “That should be fine.”
“I’d also like to stable my horse in the barn.”
“Your horse?” I don’t mean to shudder but can’t quite stop it.
“Fancy.” He tilts his head. “Are you allergic or something?”
