Page 59 of Pucking My Grumpy Roommate
“You didn’t ask. I’m just thinking out loud.” She gave me a small smile. “Besides, we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Nothing’s official yet.”
“But if it becomes official?”
She gazed down at her hands. “Then we figure it out. People navigate long-distance relationships successfully all the time.”
“With my schedule?” I couldn’t keep the edge from my voice. “I’d be gone for weeks at a stretch anyway.”
“We’d make it work,” she insisted, but I could hear the uncertainty beneath her words.
I stood abruptly, pacing across the living room. “Maybe this is the universe telling us something. Clean break before we’re in too deep.”
Her head snapped up, eyes narrowing. “Is that what you want? A clean break?”
“Fuck no,” I said, turning to face her. “But I’m trying to be realistic. You deserve someone who can actually be present in your life.”
“Don’t you dare make that decision for me,” she said, standing to confront me. “I’m perfectly capable of determining what I want and what sacrifices I’m willing to make.”
“And what is it you want, Kate?” I challenged.
“You, you stubborn ass!” She stepped closer, frustration evident in her flushed cheeks. “But sometimes I wonder if you feel the same way. Sometimes I think you’re looking for the first convenient exit before things get too real.”
Her words hit closer to home than I wanted to admit. “That’s not fair.”
“No?” Her eyes searched mine. “You’re the one suggesting we end things at the first sign of complication.”
“Because I’m terrified!” The admission escaped before I could stop it. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone, and now I might be traded across the fucking country. You think I want that?”
Kate’s expression softened immediately. “No, of course not.”
“Hockey’s been my entire identity,” I continued, the words rushing out now. “But for the first time, I’m thinking about something—someone—who might matter more.”
I sank back onto the couch, and Kate joined me, turning to face me with determination in her eyes.
“What are you really afraid of, Austin?” she asked quietly.
I took a deep breath, knowing she deserved honesty. “That you’ll realize I’m not worth the complication. That between your brilliant career and the inconvenience of loving someone who lives thousands of miles away, the math won’t make sense.”
“And what about you?” she countered. “Aren’t you worried you’ll meet some Seattle woman who doesn’t disrupt your precious routines or talk about bacterial samples during breakfast?”
I couldn’t help but smile at her assessment. “Is that what you think I want? Someone who doesn’t challenge me?”
“Most men do.”
“I’m not most men,” I said, pulling her onto my lap in one smooth motion. She gasped, finding herself straddling my thighs. “I want you, chaos and all.”
Her eyes darkened, her body instinctively settling against mine. “I’m scared too,” she admitted softly. “Scared that you’ll realize how much work I am. That I complicate everything I touch.”
I slid my hands under her shirt, tracing the warm skin at her waist. “You’re worth every complication.”
Her breath caught as my fingers traveled higher, skimming beneath her breasts. “We still don’t know what will happen,” she murmured, even as she pressed herself closer.
“No,” I agreed, pressing my lips to her neck, feeling her pulse race. “But I know what I want, regardless of geography.”
My hand moved down, flicking open the button of her jeans with practiced ease. Kate shifted, helping as I lowered her zipper and slipped my hand inside her panties, finding her already slick with arousal.
“This doesn’t resolve anything,” she gasped as my fingers found her clit.
“Not trying to resolve it,” I replied, circling the sensitive bundle of nerves. “Just reminding you what’s at stake.”
