Page 18 of Accidentally Forever
“I know. And I know you used your moves, but he was strong, and high as fuck. You and I are going to prepare a little more. Because every time I close myeyes, I see his hands on you. So you’re going to do this for me. Got me?”
Once again, my emotions clogged my throat, and I nodded. “Okay.”
And I did the one thing that felt right.I let Crew lead.
By the time we were done, I was sweaty and exhausted but felt a little more powerful. And Crew’s shoulders finally loosened.
“You hungry?” he asked afterward, handing me a towel.
“I could eat.”
His lips twitched. “Come on. I’m going to feed you.”
I shook my head. “You don’t need to feed me. We can get something.”
“You like my cooking. I’m in the mood. Let’s go eat, Aria.”
I wasn’t sure what to say because he was right, so I followed him to the parking lot, and then to his home. It felt almost as it once had. Before we had drank a little too much and leaned into each other a little too hard. I had finally given in to kissing my cousin’s best friend.
And every time he touched me, I felt cherished, even when I also felt a little heated. Neither one of us ever talked about it—at least not before the end. It wasjust something we did when the world got to be too much, and I knew it wasn’t fair to either one of us.
Crew made a quick homemade béchamel mac and cheese and grilled some chicken and zucchini, looking at home in his state of the art kitchen. He filled the space with his presence alone and I wasn’t allowed to move from the barstool. Instead I watched him work in silence, letting myself finally breathe.
“I need to go to the grocery store, so you get this.”
I rolled my eyes, because of course the man thought this wouldn’t be enough. I slid my fork through the mac and cheese and pointed at his mouth. “Open.”
He glared at me but opened his mouth. I fed him his delicious mac and cheese, and he smiled at me.
That smile always did things to me.
We ate in a calm silence, both of us sitting at his kitchen island. I loved his place, the warmness of it, even though it was daunting as well. He didn’t let a lot of people in here, and I never knew why. Maybe it was time for me to find out.
“Whatever happens now, whatever we do next, I’m not hiding from the family anymore.”
I blinked up at him, surprised and yet worried his thoughts might have been similar to mine. “What?”
He met my gaze, the tic in his jaw familiar. “You know there’s something between us, Aria. There alwayshas been. So something happens tonight, or next month, I’m not hiding it anymore. I’m not your secret, Aria. I am not the accident that you fell into.”
Those were the most words Crew had ever said to me about what we were. And just like that, the real reason we fought stood between us.
There was no going back.
Chapter Five
Crew
Iwas not a man of words. That wasn’t who I was and frankly, having to talk about my feelings and what I wanted made me want to walk right out of my own damn kitchen and never look back. There was a reason my friends ribbed me about my dark and stoic attitude. It was what I did and what made sense. If someone needed to know what I thought, I’d tell them.
Or they didn’t need to know at all.
Stating my intentions sounded as if I were speaking from far away, wondering what the hell I was doing.
I’d been so good about pretending I knew what I was doing with Aria Montgomery, that I knew if I didn’t stand my ground, I’d regret it for the rest of my life. Or I’d lost my mind, and I clearly needed her to be the one to walk away.
Aria was my addiction. My drug. And whatever she fed me coursed through my veins and it was all I could do not to beg for another hit.
I hated the fact that Aria looked at me as if I’d gone crazy. Or maybe I was projecting. I didn’t want her forever. A full on romance with complications and responsibilities? I had way too much going on in my life to have someone lean on me like that.
