Page 14 of Accidentally Forever
“Which nurse tattled to you that I was here?” I asked.
“Does it matter? You’re not doing what you’re supposed to. You never did.”
The nerve of this woman. “This is rote by this point. If you’re not going to go in there and take care of him, why are you in the parking lot?” I didn’t understand her relationship with my father, and I did not want to know. But she stood out in this parking lot ranting at me for visiting when she wouldn’t.
The McTavishes were complicated, and I wanted nothing to do with it.
“That is neither here nor there. You need to do better. Be the son that you’ve never been and actually do something for once.”
Anything I would say would just rile her up or make her believe she had won. So instead I pushed past her and got into my SUV. I nearly threatened to back into her, but she would probably like that too much.
She stepped to the side and toward her convertible, and I peeled out of the parking lot and headed toward my gym. As I did, she pulled out her phone, and I figured she was probably calling her lawyer again. It always made me roll my eyes when she did that. Shehad been trying to get me out of my trust and inheritance my entire life. But my grandfather’s lawyers were better than hers. She was never going to be able to touch anything of mine. She had already done enough of that.
Feeling a little ill, the memories of my family once again taking root, I opened all the windows in the SUV and made my way down the highway toward the gym. I turned on a familiar rock song to full blast and screamed along with it.
I pulled into the gym parking lot, then turned off the engine. I did my best to calm down, because I needed to walk in there and look as if I knew what I was doing. After all, this was my gym. I knew my friends joked that they didn’t know if I was the owner or not, because I let my managers run it, but I was the financer.
This wasn’t one of those pretty gyms with perky instructors who did their best to sell memberships. No, this was one filled with boxing rings, different martial arts sections, bags to beat all to hell, and places just to get free. It was a safe place, and one that was just mine.
The staff knew I was the owner, because after a while it was harder to hide it, so now the secret was out of the bag. I didn’t mind at this point, too many secrets meant for too many betrayals and hurt feelings. But between my dreams, not seeing Aria for a week now,and the shit show of my morning, I needed to hit something.
I walked inside the gym, that familiar feeling starting to release the tension in my shoulders, and bypassed my team. If they needed something, they would’ve texted me already. But since they hadn’t, I was just going to get a workout in. I stretched, grabbed some water, and wrapped my hands in the familiar way I had done for all of my life.
Lex had known I had been hurt as a kid and had tried to help me heal the bruises. Aria had found out later. Because there was no hiding things from her. Even when I tried. And Lex and I had both started taking classes in order to try to fight back. Lex had invaded then. But he had done them so I had someone to spar against. And his parents had helped me along the way. Had tried to get me out of the situation that there was no getting out of. I knew without a doubt if I had let them, they would’ve taken me out of that home.
But the part of me that had been belittled into nothing had thought I deserved stay.
It’d taken a shit ton of fighting, and even more therapy, for me to realize that I shouldn’t have stayed. That wasn’t my fault. But that still didn’t mean I didn’t have those demons. And bringing Aria into any of this would have just made things worse.
Cursing, I once again pushed her out of my mind. There was no reason for me to even think about her. She wasn’t mine. I wasn’t even sure she was my friend anymore. Not with the way that she’d looked at me. She’d been so damned scared of me. I could have killed Travis that night, and she would’ve watched. Because I had been out of control.
And I couldn’t protect her.
I started hitting the heavy bag, using my training so I could zone out, and just let my fists work. This was the only time I could breathe, the only time I could just let my mind flow without worrying about what I needed to hide, what others saw.
My breath came in pants as I continued to beat down the heavy bag, my fists aching. I moved to the speed bag, but that didn’t help, so I went back to the other, the pain harder. I didn’t know if I was bleeding at this point, but I had a feeling I was. Because my hands had already been bruised from losing control over Travis.
And I deserved that pain.
Out of the corner of my eye I realized I wasn’t alone, and part of me felt the disappointment that it wasn’t Aria.
But I didn’t think she was going to come back here.
Not when she’d seen me lose control.
And not when I hadn’t been fast enough to save her. To keep her from any pain.
Instead Lexington and Kingston stood by and watched me, but didn’t say a thing. They didn’t need to. They took up spaces beside me, not ending my workout, but doing one of their own, and let me be.
This was where I was best. Silent, lashing out at my demons, knowing that they would never go away. I might’ve woken up with Aria in my dreams, but that’s where she needed to stay. I came from the worst, and that meant there was no going forward knowing the path behind me.
So I lashed out until I bled, and the Montgomerys once again were by my side.
Just not my Montgomery.
Chapter Four
Aria
