Page 5 of The War Revision
“I’m eccentric, Minion, not crazy,” I retort, yanking the tie from around my wrist and pulling my shoulder-length hair up in a man-bun.
“Your prank war is escalating. Climb on top of each other already and get it over with before you end up demolishing the whole block.” He waves his tiny hand at me.
Memories from that night at Sally’s shuffle inside my head. I have to admit he’s still hot—in a haughty, pompous, snobbish kind of way—but fuck no. There’re other equally sexy, but much nicer fish in the sea.
I make a gagging sound. “Cole Devenport is a dick-shriveling asshole.”
“Come on, stop lying, fire-pants. He’s quite handsome.”
“Wow. Do you remember Russel? Your boyfriend?” I ask dramatically.
“Believe me, I remember every time I move.” He winces, shifting his ass on the sofa.
“Go, Russel!” I shout, earning a glare from him.
The man puts up with Mel’s snark every day, it’s only fair he roughly goes to town on Mel’s ass at night. If Russel wasn’t the Devil’s bestie, I’d high-five him next time we meet.
Thinking back to Cole, all the irritation bubbles up inside my throat again. “I can’t believe that he moved into my building.”
“Technically he was already in your building, working in his office on the first floor,” Mel points out, frowning at a chip in his nail polish before looking back at me.
He takes care of strays at the pet shelter, ruined nail polish must be an everyday occurrence. That reminds me, in two weeks it’s my turn to volunteer.
“Now he’ll be on my floor. Will the rotten egg smell of sulfur reach my apartment?” I wonder out loud. “His evil spirit will surely try to enter. But ah!”
“Are you having a stroke? Or is this just a pause for effect?” He studies me, tilting his head to the side.
I flip him the finger and continue with my line of thoughts. “I already have the solution.” I feel a menacing smirk curling my lips. I grab my phone from the counter and start tapping. Whoever started online ordering and next-day delivery, I salute you.
“Don’t care. What I want to know is what your twisted mind is going to plot in retaliation. And will it happen at Cole’s party? Because I don’t want to find myself in the crossfire.” He winces again while slipping off his shoes.
Bantering is the only way Mel and I communicate with each other, but that’s how we show we care—I admit it’s a weird, probably unhealthy relationship. But the bickering is expected between us and it keeps me sharp.
“My mind is an ingenious instrument destined to fight evil. Don’t disrespect it!”
“Kaiden…” Murderous intentions leak from his tone. “Tell me now.”
“Ibtsmmaistdmpletr,” I mumble quickly.
“English, please. I’m not current in sluttish.” Mel bends his legs on the side of the sofa—in a mermaid pose.
I glare at him. “I haven’t plotted anything consistent…yet.” Liar, liar…
“What did you do to Cole to make him come at you so hard?”
“Your boyfriend works for the Devil, I’m sure you talk about me during your pillow talks.”
Mel’s snort cannot be more derisive than this. “In bed? Sure, if I wanted my libido to wither and die.”
“Your sarcasm should have a health warning sign. Have a bit of compassion, Minion, I’m suffering here.”
And of course he doesn’t. “You live alone, are not interested in a serious relationship in the foreseeable future, or in having kids. You can wait a little longer to have a bigger apartment.”
“The house you share with Russel is humongous!” I remind him.
“It also has a private beach, bitch. But we have two babies, we need the space!” The babies he’s referring to are a very crass, talking bird and a horny little dog that humps everything in his path like a nymphomaniac on steroids. “The best aspect? It’s Kaiden drama free.”
“Yet, you’re always in my shop, bringing with you the charm of a flesh-eating spider alien.” I shudder in disgust.
