Page 39 of The Secret Experimentation
“Oh, I’m Vanessa,” she says.
His head snaps back, his wide eyes on me for a moment before they move to her, eyeing her in a new way. He knows who she is. I told him a bit about my last relationship, one evening after a very interesting shower we shared. Nothing too deep, just a vague recall. Now, I wish I told him more. Because the distressed look on his face makes my stomach drop to my feet. Why do I always screw things up? It doesn’t matter if I’m with a man or a woman, I still find a way to ruin everything. Vanessa was right when she said that I’m cold. I’ve kept Mel at a distance when all he’s shown me is kindness, and patience, and fun. What the fuck is wrong with me?
“He told you about me, didn’t he?” Vanessa purrs, looking at Mel. “I hope only good things, baby,” she tells me and pushes her head on my arm. And I’ve had enough. But before I can yank myself away, Mel leans into Kaiden, pulling him down, and whispers something in his ear. I don’t fucking like it. I actually hate it. Kaiden frowns, but then nods.
“Oh, you know ourfriendRussel. He never truly opens up.”Low Blow, but well-deserved.And it hurts. Because before Mel I’ve never let myself go with anybody else in my entire life.
Mel smiles at her, a too-bright smile. Then he turns a cold gaze my way. Fuck. “It was nice catching up. But all good things have to—end.” Is he talking about us? Dread rises inside my throat and I’m not able to utter a single word. We exchange a long stare, but I see no emotion in Mel’s beautiful brown eyes. Only emptiness.
Then Kaiden breaks our stand-off. “Right. Vanessa, I have no idea who you are, and I truly don’t care. Russel, see you around.”
They turn and walk away. Mel doesn’t look back. He keeps going until I can’t see his wild, thick brown waves anymore.
I can’t let him go like that. I need to explain.
But Vanessa plants herself in front of me. “Your new friends are rude.” She sniffs, flicking her long hair over one shoulder. “But now that we are alone…”
“Why are you here?” I cut her off, more than annoyed by her unwanted presence.
“I’m here for you, baby. I missed you.”
“Missed me? It has been two years, Vanessa.”
“Two years of trying to move on from you, but I couldn’t. I want you back.” She tries to come close to me, but I move back, putting at least three feet between us. People are chatting and laughing around us, and I suddenly feel the need to leave and find some peaceful place to fucking think.
“She heard about our uncle passing and the inheritance we got. That’s what she wants.” Scott suddenly appears next to me, scowling at Vanessa. I can feel the disdain rolling off him.
She sputters, “That’s not true. That’s not why I’m here. I really miss you. And I feel bad. I should have helped you more with your…problem.”
“Problem?” my brother asks, menace dripping from his voice.
“Come on, Scott, stop pretending that his obsession with cleanliness and control is normal,” she retorts.
“Listen, you money-grubbing bimbo, I…”
“Stop.” I grab my brother’s arm and squeeze. I’m grateful for the way he always protects me. God knows how many times he’s done it in the past. But she’s right. My tendencies are not normal. “She’s not worth it.” I look straight into his eyes, trying to silently remind him where we are. He seems to understand, and curling his lips over his teeth like an enraged animal, he hisses, “Get out of my bar. And don’t ever come back.”
She looks about to say something, but the fury barely contained in my brother’s body makes her rethink it.
“I’m in a serious relationship. Not interested even if I wasn’t.” My cold stare and statement seem to finally sink in. She turns and my eyes follow her until I’m sure she’s out the front door.
My body deflates, and before my brother can say anything I wave him off and beeline for the exit myself. Outside, the air is hot and unforgiving, and doesn’t help the suffocating feeling that has suddenly hit me. All I can think about is Mel. The comfortable closeness we shared. The easy way he accepted me for who I am, with a constant smile on his face. The natural way he anticipated my needs and satisfied my obsessive traits without ever seeing them as a burden or oddness. He made light of them or didn’t bat an eye.
And what did I give him in return? Just a few pieces of me here and there. Wariness, distance, carelessness. Motherfucking shit. I pull the pack of cigarettes from my pants and squeeze it hard between my fingers.
Scott’s heavy hand is suddenly on my shoulder. It should give me some soft of comfort, but it just reminds me of all the times he was there. Of all the times I’ve screwed thing up.
I look up at the black sky but there’s only one thing I see in front of my eyes.
The red headband.
Chapter 8
Therelentlesspursuit
I let the night pass, nursing a bottle of vodka on my too-big sofa. My only companions an overflowing ashtray and a cloud of smoke.
But when the morning came my puffy eyes and hangover didn’t stop my brain from coming back online. And the conclusion I reached was that I wanted Mel. In my life. In my bed. All the time. And if he let me, I’d try and be better.
