Page 141 of Obsidian and Frost
“And?” he echoed.
Jeez.“Is that really the only reason?”
He sighed, his eyes flickering to mine briefly, before he looked away with a sheepish expression I hadn’t thought possible from him. “Truly, it has bothered me. Feeling the two of them growing closer to you. Not just sexually, but via true intimacy beyond the scope of physical pleasure. I suppose it could be referred to as jealousy. However, Idowant you to live your life, to experience things you’d been unable to for so long due to being forced into hiding by your enemies. But yet here I am also… resenting it, I suppose.” He shoved his hand through his hair. “This contradiction vexes me greatly.”
I smiled. “It seems likeyoucould also do withmyassistance.”
He stared at me for a moment.
And then a weak chuckle escaped him. “That does seem to be the case.”
“Teach me how to mute what you feel through the Soul Brand from me so you don’t have to experience any of that going forward.”
“I can’t.”
“You can’t? Aren’t you teacher extraordinaire? First with your mentorship with Ariana when you were schooling her in the ways of a True Celestial? With Ketheron as well, teaching him how to acclimate to his new life as a free agent, as I’ve heard about from Nyx. And now you taking on a literal teaching role here at the Academy.”
“It’s nice that you hold my skills in such high regard. However, I do not know all. As we’ve just determined, I do fallshort in… personal areas. But, regarding the Soul Brand, there is no magic to mute it. The reason you do not feel much from me—and only extreme instances of distress—is because I ensure I do not experience much at all.”
I stilled. “Excuse me? Are you telling me that you force yourself not to feel anything in order to shield me?”
“Yes. Of course.”
I shook my head as I finished with the wipes, then placed them down on the nightstand. “That’s deeply unhealthy. It’s honestly toxic and completely unsustainable. Cassius, it’s the opposite of living.”
“It is not me who needs to live and explore. I have existed for centuries. You are young and new, still finding your way and your path.”
“You were caged by a megalomaniacal, rigid system that policed every single move you made, every decision. You were an agent of the Celestial Plane, a warrior bred to do their bidding. You haven’t lived a life either. You’d existed as an extension of them, not even as an actual person. You’re free of their shackles now, yet you’re allowingthisto be another set you live with.”
“Saving you, I forced the Soul Brand upon you and—”
“Stop. You didn’t know that was going to happen. You saved my life, Cassius.”
“And you then saved mine months later.”
“That’s not my point. The fact is that the Soul Brand exists and it’s time we stopped pretending it doesn’t, that it’s some inconvenience.”
“You say that, but you would be inundated with all my… issues. It could hurt you.”
“Hurt me, huh?”
“Yes.”
I eased the towel from his neck, noting that the bleeding had finally ceased.
I flicked it into the bathroom and cleansed it with my magic, then I reached out to him with both hands. “You believe your current stance regarding us has spared me from thishurtthat you’re worried about… open your mind to me, let me show you something. It’s a recurring dream that I’ve had ever since you pulled away so unceremoniously. And brutally, honestly.”
He looked unsure, but he gave a nod. “All right.”
I pressed my palms to either side of his head, then carefully pushed the memory of my dream into him, being extra gentle about it with him in a weakened state.
My purple power sparked and he tensed just as I made the connection.
And then the memory flowed into him.
“Cassius,”I breathed.
The one who’d saved me.
