21
~Lazriel~
Shit,it was so cozy.
This warmth all over me.
A familiar lavender scent infusing me.
And the whisper of something else…blackcurrant?
It was so wonderful that I didn’t want to open my eyes.
But my internal clock was warning me that it was time to get up.
Time to start the day, time for classes.
A grunt escaped me as I managed to force my eyes open.
And then I was jolting as the first thing I saw was Sylas lounging in an armchair as he sipped at his blackcurrant tea.
He was in just a pair of silky crimson lounge pants, his sexy ripped chest on full display and his hair in that just-woken-up wild state.
“Morning, sunshine,” he whispered.
Whispered.
I jolted again and looked to see that I was lying on his couch with Velra asleep on top of me, a ratty cover halfway down her back, revealing that she was covered in my forest-greenHalfblood Houndsatin robe.
I shifted a little to prop my head up against the arm, careful not to wake her. The way she looked when she slept… so peaceful… I didn’t want to mess with that.
Besides, last night had been a lot.
I couldn’t actually believe—
“It appears your night improved after you stormed out of here,” Sylas spoke, cutting into my thoughts and my attempt to process what had gone down. Or, at least some of what had gone down. Like I said, last night had been a lot—too much had happened.
I glared out at him. “I vamp sped out.”
“Ah, yes. That makes all the difference.”
Smarmy little—
“I’m sorry.”
I started. “You’re… what?”
“I’m sorry that my decision to keep my health situation secret hurt you.”
Of fucking course. “You’re sorry you had to deal with my upset, but you’re not sorry for what you did? Sounds about right.”
“No. I’m neversorryto have to deal with any emotion from you. I like when you’re bare to me, when you allow me in.” He couldn’t resist adding, “In more ways than one.”
“You know what? Just save the—”
“What I’m sorry for is that a decision I made ended up hurting you, Lazriel,” he said, being earnest now, and dropping the bullshit. He put his tea down and scrubbed his hand over his face and for the first time I actually saw distress from him. Raw, honest, and open distress. “Everyone I’ve ever loved has been taken from me. Due to circumstances beyond my control. Meeting you… connecting the way we have… I couldn’t risk that, couldn’t risk what we’re building. This sickness… it was forced on me. Yet another thing beyond my control that putting outthere to you or anyone I grew close to could cause me to lose you. I know you suffer from abandonment issues, among other things, and with that being the case, I was concerned that if I revealed I was ill, it would destroy what we’ve been building.” He gritted his teeth, then forced out. “No. Not just concerned—afraid. I was afraid it would ruin things.”
“You were afraid I’d leave you?”