Page 36 of Obsidian and Frost
“I mean, yeah. It was my concept and I got some help from a Dark Fae who owes me a favor to conjure the surroundings in amongst the rest ofThe Fade.”He gestured at the blanket area. “But this here was all me.”
“It’s amazing. I love it.”
“Would you say it’s…”
“Perfect? Yes. Hell, yes.Perfect!”
He chuckled and looked so happy.
I stepped toward the blanket, looking all around, wanting to catalogue every thoughtful detail.
“Wow. So this is how the Halfblood Hound does it?”
He flinched. “You know about all that?”
“Survival mode, remember? Know your surroundings like the back of your hand? Yeah, I’m aware.” I grinned. “Graverun King.”
He chuckled. “Well, the Halfblood Hound had very little to do withthis.”
“It’s not just your violent side, though, right? Isn’t it you being raw and unleashing like you need to?”
“You don’t need to worry about that, you know? I mean, me doing that with you. Okay? That’s not how I’d let it go down.”
Ah, so that was what this was all about tonight—this space he’d created here, his softer more toned down look, him swallowing his rage down with Sylas so quickly.
I walked to the blanket and sat down, tucking my legs under me to the side. As he slowly approached, seemingly hesitantand on guard—with himself—as I’d just realized through adding everything up, I looked up and told him, “You think I’m fragile, that your primal side will have me running for the hills, especially if you brought it physically. You failed to notice my reaction in that alcove when you lost control for a moment and slammed your fist down by my head.”
He arched an eyebrow.
“It was hot as all hell,” I told him.
“I don’t think you’re fragile, but I did think that kind of sexual aggression wouldn’t sit well with you, yeah.”
“It’s not the sexual aspect that causes issues for me. Not literally that part on its own.”
Curiosity sparked in his eyes and he sat down on the blanket opposite me, settling in. “What is it then?”
“For years I spent my life in hiding. On the run. To survive that I had to shut down and become paranoid basically about every little thing. I couldn’t let anyone close to me—either in case they were a plant from my enemies, or in case they got hurt because of me. And after living my life like that for so long, it’s… strange and unsettling to be vulnerable in any way now, to even want anything, to be able to want anything or anyone.”
He nodded along, leaning back on his hands, seeming comfortable and not at all put off by my confessions.
“And I’m… damaged. So when you took an interest, I guess…” I trailed off, trying to find the right words.
“You didn’t think it could be real?”
“Yeah. Pretty much.”
“That makes a shitload of sense with how you blew me off. I get it.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, love, I really do. And, if it helps, I’m damaged, too. And it’s okay to own it—loud and clear for everyone to fucking hear.”
I laughed. “Is that right?”
“Oh, fuck, yeah. You bet.” He rubbed my arm. “And, for the record, I think you’re fucking amazing. With all of that burdening you and you still try, you still push forward. It might feel like in small ways, but it’s actually not. Joining Crossborn with us was a major step. You even made a friend in Nyx—a really good friend to have on your side. He fits perfectly for you with what you need in somebody from that perspective.” He reached for one of the goblets with the purple liquid filling them and handed it to me, then took the remaining one for himself. “And now you’re here with me, taking this chance with a volatile fucker like me. Nowthat’ssome real courage and a giant leap out of your comfort zone and all those walls that those bastards made you build around yourself.”
He tipped his goblet toward me. “Cheers to that, to new beginnings, yeah?”
