Page 32 of The Shadow Fae Rhapsody
“If I had given you that impression, then I apologize. I leave a trail of bodies behind me. Go on, see for yourself,” he says, urging me to enter into his mind.
I need proximity to do that, the same way I did with Kheirall. But Svenn has completely lowered his barrier, inviting me into his mind. I close my eyes and enter into his consciousness freely.
A montage of him follows, massacring an entire ballroom full of people, of him hanging skulls and limbs of his enemies at the side of his steed, of him decimating castles and fortress to rubbles, of him terrorizing through town. And in every one of those scenes, he is laughing like some dark god, the blood thirst in his face apparent.
“You see, I’ve done unspeakable things in the past. Burned villages, fell kingdoms. I’ve killed, tortured, maimed, slaughtered and I know I’ll do it again.” There is no remorse, not an ounce of guilt in his voice.
I gaze up at him, speechless by the visions he showed me.
“I’m not some misunderstood creature. There is no hidden good inside of me,” he says, more quietly this time. “This is who I am, Nel.”
I think he’s holding his breath, waiting for me to speak.
“I accept that,” I say easily.
“You shouldn’t.”
His eyes narrow as he studies my face, searching for the truth. “You’ve seen what I’m made of. A patchwork of monsters—”
“I accept them too.”
Hope rises on his face before he kills it. “Why would you do that? Even I hate the fuck out of them.”
“I don’t hate them—”
His dark eyes spark in anger, and I don’t finish my words.
“Can you still say that when I have blood on my hands, Nel?” he asks in a breath.
A shiver rolls up my spine at the question. But the way he asked that makes me more sad than afraid. My heart sinks at the heartbreak in that voice.
“The first day we arrived in Windhaven, the Rhunhraefn had shown me this dark, forbidden part of you,” I confess with a sigh. “I accepted it then, and I accept it now.”
The world seems to pause right after I say those words. Svenn stares at me for the longest time, unblinking.
Then his eyes flare with emotion, vulnerable and raw. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
I draw in a shallow breath. “I think I know enough.”
After seeing everything the curse had displayed to me, I tried to hate him back then. But I couldn’t. Svenn is not perfect, but neither am I.
“I know about what happened in Visegrád,” I say, recalling what he did to every man and woman there in his bloodlust. A haunted look creeps into his face before he averts his gaze. It’s almost like I can see him breaking into pieces right before me.
And it’s tragic.
All I want to do is hold him the same way he held me last night.
“I didn’t get a chance to appease the bond yesterday,” I say casually. I want to run into his arms, but I keep my cool as I stride calmly towards him.
His eyes gleam as he watches me silently. I don’t run despite the dangerous darkening of that gaze as I wrap my arms around his neck. I press my face to his collarbone, inhaling his warm scent of ocean breeze and lush spice.
Svenn curls his arm around me and holds me close. “I’m a terrible fucking thing, Rhianelle. Why aren’t you scared of me?”
I don’t know how to answer that, so I just stay in his arm. Svenn thinks he is terrible, malicious, and twisted. But what he doesn’t know is that I have parts of me that are dark too. I just learned long ago not to be afraid of it.
“You continue to surprise me, Nel,” he whispers, his breath stirring my hair. “One minute you’re safely tucked in my arms, the next you’re inches away from being mauled by a monster.”
“I managed to hammer and nail—”
