Page 49 of Champagne Kisses
“And it’s not just with Adam. Despite the fact that you’ve hadseverallong-term boyfriends, many of whomyoudumped, you, for some reason, think all anyone sees when they look atyou is some ugly, fat lady. And now you’re using it to sabotage your relationship with Adam. You are not Precious! You've got a lot going for you, despite having the self esteem of a junior high kid.” We're both silent, letting her words sink in. I can hear Denise breathing hard, like it took it out of her to release all that.
"How long have you been waiting to say that to me?" I ask quietly. From the sound of it, she's been holding that in for quite some time. After a moment, she laughs awkwardly.
"A while. Sorry. I didn't mean to unload on you." NowI'mthe one that feels drained. Here l am, thinking I'm doing a great job hiding all my fears—all the nasty thoughts that whisper in my ear whenever I look in the mirror, all the self-doubt that makes me work so hard, trying to be good enough—and they've been in the driver's seat the whole time. It's so…embarrassing. And I feel so weak behind the ineffective facade.
"I'm sorry I'm not strong and confident like you," I practically whisper.
"Hey Maya. Why don't you shut the fuck up already?" D practically yells. I pull the phone away from my ear and stare at it, shocked.
"What?"
"You heard me," Denise returns angrily. "You think you're the only one with problems just because you're the one crying right now?"
"Well…no, of course not." This conversation is turning my already nightmarish night into a night terror.
"Some of us work with professionals for our issues instead of making our girlfriends listen to our sob stories, even when we have dreamy guys begging us to meet their families!" D's anger leaves me too stunned to speak.
"So that's it? Ten years of friendship and now I'm just some whiny bitch you're tired of listening to?"
"Your words, not mine, but if the shoe fits…" I can tell she's hurt even through the phone, but my feelings are too hurt to try to smooth things over.
"OK." I croak through more tears. "I guess we've said all there is to say." More silence.
"If that's how you feel…" I can hear her crying now. "I gotta go."
I hear the click as she ends the call and I feel completely shattered. Heartbroken by both Adamandone of my best friends!Howdareshe take Adam's side!
But I can't muster up the same anger as before. WhydidI think Adam would agree with his brother? He's never given me any reason to doubt him before. And as mad as I am at Denise right now, she's right; I've never had any problem getting into a relationship. Why, then, is it so easy to believe Adam would agree with all the bullshit Cory was spewing?
Dammit! I can't believe I've been such a bonehead. I've got to call Denise back to make amends, but first I need to go to Adam's. He's right; we need to talk. And I might need to apologize.
Chapter twenty-seven
Adam
I'm starting to understand why this is the first time I've tried a relationship. Hookups are so much easier than this. There's no yelling, no tears, no misunderstandings. Well, there were sometimes misunderstandings when the women started to catch feelings…And sometimes there were tears when I let the women know those feelings weren't contagious. But that was on them; I was always honest from the start and never deviated.
Until Maya. Maya popped up in my chat window and has been surprising me ever since. I was surprised such a cute face was on the other side of the computer. I was surprised by how strongly I felt about her from the beginning. And now I'm surprised that she would just jump to the wrong conclusion without giving me a chance to explain. She's always running away!
I push up from the couch and slap myself in the face to end my solo pity party.Man up, Adam! You're better than this.
Getting my blood pumping always puts me in a better mood, so I start jogging in place. I do a few jumping jacks and burpees, trying to get it pumping even harder. This is bullshit! I've got a great job, an amazing apartment, a family that loves me, and I can bed any woman I want. I don't need Maya!
I stop jogging abruptly. No, I don'tneedMaya…but Iwanther. I flop back down on the couch and let out a groan of frustration.God, it can't end like this.
Ten minutes after I gave up calling, I hear my buzzer. Yes! That’s probably Maya coming to make up in person. I knew we'd work it out. This was just our first fight. I may not be experienced with relationships, but I know fights are bound to happen. And I'm not going to throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble after waiting so long to dive into this. Maya is worth more than just a "college try".
I race over to the intercom on the wall to buzz her up. I almost fall flat on my ass when I slip on the entryway rug.Real smooth, Adam.Clearly, I'm too far gone to play it cool. I open the door and lean against the jamb to meet Maya with the best kiss of her life.
How in the fuck could she notknowI think she’s hot? I try to jump her bones every time I’m in a room with her, but I don’t think she’s beautiful? It’s ridiculous. And Cory is an asshole. I'll gladly fuck her around the clock to erase any doubt from hermind about how much I'm into her. I've got some vacation time saved up. I guess we'll need to talk first, but…
One minute later, I get the shock of my life when strawberry blonde curls emerge on the stairs instead of Maya’s dark locs. Shit. It’s Emily. Could this night get any worse? I fold my arms over my chest. I amnotin the mood for my friend's kid sister to make another pass at me. As the maid of honor, she's had entirely too much access to me. I'mthisclose to backing out of thewhole wedding. As she gets closer, I see dark circles under her eyes. Several strands of hair have come loose from her ponytail. It's the first time I've ever seen her with even a hair out of place.
“Hey Adam” she mumbles, shuffling her feet along the floor. She looks like she hasn't slept in a while. Something is definitely up. "Do you have a minute to talk?"
My back is ramrod straight now and I step back into my apartment. "Now really isn't a good time, Emily. I'm kind of expecting—" She reaches her hand out, clearly worried I'll close the door in her face. I'd thought about it, but…
"Please, Adam? You've got every reason to want to avoid me, but I just want to talk. It's important." When I continue to hesitate, she pulls a bottle from her oversized purse and holds it out to me. "I brought wine?"
