Page 1 of Champagne Kisses
Prologue
Maya
September 1997
Ms. Nappy Head
Thunder thighs!
TRY JENNY CRAIG!!!
Call me when youlose 50 pounds, LOL
I clap the worn composition book closed and lean back against the painted concrete bricks of the stall behind me. The putrid yellow of the walls is fitting, considering I might actually be sick. IknewI should have started my own book! No one talks shit about you when it’syourslam book.
I crack the book open again to see crude depictions of myself in pen and Sharpie. I could’ve done without the drawings. Do they think I don’t know about my thunder thighs? God, I hope Tim and James haven’t seen this.
Before I can continue to spiral, Tiffany pops her head over the top of the bathroom stall in which I’ve sequestered myself. No one needed to see me have a full-on meltdown in the middle of the choir room. That would’ve been the cherry on top of this shit sundae of a day.
“Maya, are you crying in there?” I quickly wipe my tears with my sleeve, keeping my head down so she can’t see.
“Uh, no. Of course not!” Tiffany looks at me doubtfully, so I push the corners of my mouth up into what I hope passes for a smile. Tiffany despises pity parties.
“I’m fine. Really. Just stressed about the history test next period.” Tiffany raises her eyebrow to let me know she’s not buying my bullshit excuse, but hops off the neighboring commode when I stand. Unfortunately, I can’t stay in here forever;the smell of disinfectant is making me dizzy. I suppose it’s better than any alternative for a junior high bathroom.
I flush my tissues and step out of the stall, but the slam book slips from under my arm onto the bathroom floor. Tiffany kicks it out of my reach and snatches it up victoriously.
“Ah ha! Iknewyou were in there with Julie’s slam book.“ She holds it away from her with just her fingertips like it’s radioactive. “Why do you bother reading it? You know she’s got it in for you and she’s just going to pass it around to all the cheer bitches.” She flips through the book and rolls her eyes dramatically when she gets to my page.
I appreciate the show of support, but as one of our school’s resident bombshells, Tiffany can’t possibly understand what I’m going through. Seriously, she’s got, like, the perfect body, long black hair, and hazel eyes. Tiffany’s barely five feet, but she’s got the presence of a freight train and a temper to match. People practically clear a path whenever they see her coming. Meanwhile, I’m stuck with boring brown eyes and, as the slam book so eloquently put it, a “nappy head” and fifty extra pounds, mostly in my thighs. My cool points go up just from standing next to her.
She lets out an unladylike snort when she’s done reading.
“‘Maya the Pariah’, huh? Bet it took someoneall fiveof their brain cells to come up with that one.“ She snaps the book shut without bothering to check her page. How does she do that? Then again, her page is probably just compliments anyway.
“I know, I know. I’m a glutton for punishment. I was just curious.” I tuck the book back into my backpack and nibble on my fingernails.
“Do you think Tim has seen it?” Tiffany levels me with a “you’ve got to be kidding me” face and I wish I could take the question back.
“Considering he’s Julie’s boyfriend? Yeah, I think he’s seen it. I think he was the first person to write in it right before he fingered her while watching ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’ for the fiftieth time.” She turns and wraps her arms around herself to look like two people making out and I giggle behind my hands.
“Ew, gross, Tiffany! How do you come up with this stuff?” Tiffany just smirks and shrugs.
“It’s a gift. You should really try it; let those cheer bitches know Maya’s not some goody two-shoes.”
I sigh and lean against the wall.
“But Iama goody two-shoes. All those anonymous questions in Sex Ed last year totally blew my mind.”
Tiffany leans against the wall next to me and sighs like she’s remembering a fond memory.
“Ah, yes. Who can forget Danny Raskin asking about the purpose of areolas? And then Mr. Drummond saying they’re bullseyes?! I almost peed myself laughing.”
The bathroom echoes with our laughter; thatwasthe funniest Biology class ever.
“How’d you know it was Danny? Those questions were anonymous.”
Tiffany just scoffs.
