Page 26 of Inside Silence
Despite her raised, almost defiant, chin, the armor of her uniform, and her crisp “Hello,” she looks utterly vulnerable standing on my doorstep. It’s her eyes, they’re swimming with questions and uncertainty, and I hate what I’m about to tell her may be hurtful to hear.
I’d convinced myself the truth would be the best way forward, for her and for me, but suddenly I’m wondering if I’m not being selfish. Maybe the truth is overrated.
Regardless, Savvy makes it clear there is no turning back now when she says, “I’m here, so talk,” before stepping past me into the house.
“Care for a beer? Wine? Or are you still on duty?”
She stops by the kitchen island and turns to face me.
“I’m always on duty,” she bites off sharply. Then she lifts a hand and presses her fingers to a spot at the base of her nose as she closes her eyes, following it up with a much more subdued, “Sorry. Been a tough day. A tough couple of days. Maybe I’ll have that beer.”
“The murder case?” I ask as casually as I can, while grabbing a beer from the fridge before taking out the beer glass I popped in the freezer earlier.
“Bottle is fine,” she indicates, ignoring my question.
I twist the top off and hand it over, watching as she brings the bottle to her lips and tilts her head back. I study her slender throat moving as she takes a long drink, and remember how she used to love me kissing and nibbling the softs skin at the base of her neck.
The sudden rush of blood to my crotch has me whip around and head for the back door.
“Just gonna heat up the grill,” I mumble, looking for a bit of distance to get my head in the game and my mind out of the gutter.
But Savvy follows me out, walking up to the railing of my deck where I was standing just minutes ago.
“This is pretty,” she observes. “I didn’t really notice the unobstructed view you have of the mountains last time.”
“Yeah, on clear nights like this the view is pretty.”
“Can we sit outside?” she asks, turning her head to look at me.
I’m sure it’s not only the view that makes her want to stay out here, but I get it.
“Sure, and let me know if you get cold. I can light the firepit.”
She nods before returning her attention to the mountains.
“Guess murder cases are pretty rare around here,” I prompt her, returning to her tough day comments from earlier.
“We’ve had a few. Not many,” she admits. “And nothing ever like this.” She looks over her shoulder at me. “But I didn’t come here to talk about my day.”
I shrug. “Fair enough. Give me a minute to grab the salmon and my beer. Food first, and then we’ll talk.”
I also bring out a bowl of pistachio nuts, which has become a bit of an addiction for me since I quit smoking when Tate came to live with me. I guess it’s a healthier habit, but it sure puts the pounds on my gut. My damn jeans are getting tight. But it gives my hands something to do, which helps settle my nerves.
Conversation is sparse, mostly focused on neutral topics like the weather, but as soon as I finish the last bite of my salmon, I sit back in my chair and look at Savannah.
“I need to set a few things straight first,” I start when her eyes meet mine. “Apparently, we all jump to quick conclusions—myself included—instead of asking the right questions or waiting for explanations.”
Her eyes narrow slightly at that, but I push on.
“I assumed you and Auden were a thing after seeing you in the parking lot at the station, and reacted by asking Ginny out for a drink. Not the most mature reaction and not the first time I made a mistake like that, but at least I recognized it for what it was before it got me into trouble. That’s what happened when I left Silence; I was feeling vulnerable and picked up the first pretty girl who paid attention to me. Charlene was a mistake, she tried to trap me with a pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong,” I add quickly when I notice Savvy wince. “Tatum is everything to me, but I would’ve wished her a better set of parents because, in the end, it wasn’t just Charlene who fucked up. I did as well, by not doing much of anything.”
I shrug off the discomfort at laying it all out on the table.
“But at least I have an opportunity to try and do better, which is why I brought her here.”
She remains quiet as I take a quick swig of my beer for reinforcement. I have to give it to Savvy for letting me talk, but I have no doubt she’ll have a thing or two to say before long.
“This may sound ridiculous, but I wasn’t expecting the reaction I had to seeing you again. I hadn’t really thought coming back here through at all, which seems to be par for the course for me.”
