Page 74 of Delta
Tucker’s words have been echoing through my head since I told him on the plane that I planned on bringing Emma here. He was adamant that he knows I wouldn’t do it on purpose, but that it’s still a risk.
As if I didn’t know it was.
As if I forgot that I’ll never be able to have a family of my own because I can be a threat to anyone at any moment. All it takes is a trigger, and I’m off like a bullet, tearing through anyone in my path.
Delta glances over at me, so in tune that he can sense when I start to teeter on the edge of that cliff. “I’m good, bud,” I tell him, then do my best to shift my attention away from the dark thoughts that never stray too far away.
Burgers sizzle on the grill, the hearty aroma filling my nose. A glass of sweet tea in my hand, I stand on the back porch overlooking the pool I had installed last year. It’s long and rectangular—the length perfect for swimming laps. Which is one of the ways I cool off in the middle of the night when the nightmares hit.
The deep side is fifteen feet down, and there are moments where I’ll cling to a weight so I can completely submerge myself just to block out the screams echoing in my head.
The torturous drip, drip, drip that still haunts me.
Cold showers stopped working a long time ago. I need cold and exertion. Which isn’t great, come summertime when the water is nearly as warm as the air outside. Still, it’s something, and I’ll use whatever I can to regain myself during one of those attacks.
“This is so beautiful.”
I turn as Emma steps out onto the porch, wearing leggings and an oversized blue T-shirt that falls to her mid-thigh. She’s swept her hair off of her neck and into a high bun on top of her head, and her cheeks are tinged with pink, though there’s no makeup on her beautiful face.
She steals my breath. I flex the fingers of my free hand, wishing I could reach out and touch her. Run my fingers over the soft skin of her cheekbone as I brush strands of hair the color of sunlight behind her ear.
And then I hate myself a bit more for knowing that I can’t.
“Thanks.” I turn toward the pool. “The burgers will be ready in about fifteen minutes. Fries are in the oven.”
“Burger and fries? Mr. Hunt, you are spoiling me.” She leans forward, placing her forearms on the porch railing. “I always loved being here on the ranch. Growing up, it felt like this magical wonderland where anything was possible.”
“It’s a great place.”
“It really is.” She straightens, then makes her way down the back steps toward the pool. “When did you have this put in? Is it original to the house?”
I shake my head. “I added it last year. Same thing with my shop.” I point to the building to the right of the pool. It has its own porch with some chairs and a bathroom inside for anyone using the pool. I don’t have many visitors, but my family will occasionally come swim.
“It’s really nice. You should plant some more flowers out here,” she says, gesturing over toward the bare right side of the pool. There’s a decent-sized grassy area between the pool and a road that leads toward Tucker’s place. “Wildflowers,” she says softly, as if I don’t already know. “Similar to the ones you have in front of your house.”
A house surrounded by wildflowers. Does she remember? Does she know that I planted those for her? As a way to bring a part of her here with me?
“I’ll look into doing that.”
“I can. If you like. Get the plants, and I’ll put them in the ground for you.” She beams at me. “It’s not like I have much else to do. And you said it was safe for me to be outside here, right?”
I nod. “We’re far enough from any accessible roads and surrounded on three sides by the shop, tree line, and house. It shouldn’t be an issue. Besides, he already knows you’re here with us. Not exactly a secret anymore.”
She smiles. “This is true.” Turning her attention back to the pool, she slips out of her sandals and steps onto the small ledge where the water is only a few inches deep, staying close to the edge of the pool.
Even though she’s in a place where she can stand, my stomach still lurches at the thought of her falling in.
“That feels amazing.” Closing her eyes, she tilts her face up to the sky and lets out a heavy sigh.
Warmth spreads through my chest as I watch her. Emma has always just fit. Even when I was an awkward kid with a crush on the girl who sat next to me in class. There wasn’t a day in our teenage years when I didn’t think we’d end up together. Married with kids, living here on the ranch.
Now she’s here, but it’s nothing like that. And it’s certainly not for forever.
“I would never want to leave this place.” Stepping out of the water, she retrieves her sandals. “I love that it’s not deep. It’s the only kind of water I want to be around.”
“You really need to learn to swim.”
“I’m too old now,” she jokes. “I would look ridiculous with floaties on.”
