Page 61 of Revelry
But now, all that comfort had vanished.
Anxiety was crushing in, heavy on my chest, my mind racing with why my mom was here, what she wanted, how she even found me. The only people I’d told about the cabin were Adrian and the rest of the team at the boutique. It was possible he could have told her, given how intimidating my mom could be when she wanted to be.
When I felt somewhat presentable, I stood at the top of the stairs, hand gripping the railing tight as I forced three long inhales and exhales.It’ll be fine,I lied to myself, and then I let my numb feet carry me down.
Mary Anne Prieston was pristine.
That was the best word to describe her. She never had a hair out of place, she ironed her blouses and skirts to a crisp each morning, and in all the years I’d lived with her I’d never once seen her without a full face of makeup. I swore she must have tattooed it on or woken up at ungodly hours to put it on before she was making mine and my brother’s breakfast.
She sat at the small kitchen table near the front door, legs crossed, back straight and not even close to touching the back of the chair. When I rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs, her eyes caught at my face first before assessing the rest of me. Nose pointed high, eyes narrowed—she had plenty to say to me, and I knew there would be no way out of hearing it.
“Mom,” I greeted, walking until I was standing next to the kitchen counter in front of her. I leaned my hip on it and crossed my arms. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to check on my daughter whom I haven’t heard from in six months,” she said casually, picking a fleck of lint from her soft pink skirt. “You know the least you could have done is call me to let me know where you’re living. Or that your divorce is final. Or that you’re still breathing.”
I cringed, eyes on my bare toes. I was ashamed. My parents and I weren’t close, and after I’d decided to leave Keith, I felt their disappointment like an ant feels the rays of the sun under a magnifying glass. I didn’t lean on them during the hard nights of the divorce or even think to tell them that I needed to get out of the city to think. I didn’t have anything to say to them at all, other thanI’m sorry,and I was so tired of saying that.
“I’m guessing you talked to Adrian?”
“That’s really the only thing you have to say right now?”
“I don’t have a permanent place yet, but I’m staying here for the summer. My divorce is final. And I’m still breathing.”
Mom rolled her eyes until they landed hard on me. “Don’t be impudent, Wren.”
I bit down hard on my tongue, pushing off the counter and making my way over to the coffee pot. “Want some?” I asked, pulling one mug down because I already knew her answer. I poured a full cup, adding just one spoonful of sugar and taking a sip while it was still scalding hot. It was more pleasurable than talking to my mother.
She sighed behind me. “What are you doing here?”
I kept my eyes on my mug, the steam hot on my face from how close I held it. Mom stood slowly, crossing the kitchen until she stood in front of me. I felt like a little girl again, like I was ten years old and had stayed outside until after the street lights came on.
“Listen, I know that marriage is hard. I get it, believe me. But this?” Mom gestured to the cabin, the place that had felt more like home in the past two months than my house with Keith ever did. The way she surveyed it made me feel defensive, like I needed to puff out my chest and protect it. “Honey, this isn’t you. This is absurd, quite frankly. Keith loves you, and he’s waiting for you to get this out of your system and come back home. I know the paperwork is final, but it doesn’t matter. He’ll take you back and you guys can work on this.”
“Have you been talking to Keith?” I asked incredulously. Then, my eyes widened farther. “Wait, did you tell him where I am?”
She was silent, and that was all the answer I needed.
“Damn it, Mother!” I smacked a hand hard on the counter. “I don’twantto work on anything. Did you not hear a word I said the night I cried to you on the phone about this? I was miserable.Keithwas miserable. He just doesn’t want to admit that we don’t work together. I’m not what he wants.”
“Says who?”
“Says him! In every possible way. He may spout pretty words at you about how much he loves me, but you don’t treat someone you love the way he treated me,” I choked. “He didn’t support me, mom. He resented me.”
“Well, did you ever think about supportinghim?” Mom threw back. “God, do you ever stop to think about how wrapped up you are in yourself?”
Her words sliced right through me, like a million tiny razor blades all aimed at vital organs. It hurt worse when she said it than it did when Keith had, yet still I heard his voice echoing hers. I felt their eyes, their judgment—the only thing I didn’t feel was understanding, from anyone in my life.
And what did that say about me?
Could it be that I reallywasjust a selfish little girl? I had put my happiness first. I had asked whatIneeded in life, not what I could do for those who loved me and who I loved, in return.
“Maybe I am selfish,” I finally conceded, my voice low, eyes still on where my hands gripped the ceramic coffee mug. “But all I know is that I couldn’t live one more day in that life. And it may not make sense to you, but I need to be here right now. I need space—to think, to find out who I am, what I want.”
“Oh, please,” she cut me off, not even an ounce of pity present. “You think you’re doing fine? That you’re moving on andfinding yourself?”
She scoffed, clicking away from me in her small kitten heels. She swiped her purse and coat from the rack and threw them on before spinning to face me once more. This time I lifted my head to look at her, and I’d never felt so small.
“You’re distracted, Wren. You’re staying in a new place, with new furniture and new people and a new guy in your bed.” She shook her head, her eyes a mirror of my own. “This is a fairytale, and one day you’ll have to come back to reality, and back to the people you left behind there.”
