Page 55 of My Dark Ever After
He walked away from me without another word.
I decided then and there I did not like the di Conte family very much.
“What did you say to upset Uncle Tonio?” Raffa asked, appearing between swirling bodies at my side.
Before I could respond, he was taking me into his arms, flattening me against his torso with a hand pressed firmly at the base of my spine while the other took my hand and started to swirl me around the terrace.
I laughed breathlessly as he pushed me out under his arm in a twirl and then hauled me back into his side.
“He seems to think you’re in love with me,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Your whole family seems to have an opinion on our relationship.”
“They are Italian,” he said with a shrug. “It is our way to be nosy about each other’s love lives. We invented the soap opera, you know.” He smiled slightly as I laughed. “Besides, Uncle Tonio has a soft heart. He adopted Leo legally, but he also fostered half a dozen of oursoldatiwhen they were boys, Michele and Philippe among them. He was also the one who encouraged me to go to school in England, even though Aldo forbade it.” He paused, dipping closer to run his nose along my hairline. “And Guinevere, you must know, because I have said so in both English and Italian, I do love you.”
The words dropped through the center of my chest like a stone in a pond, sending ripples throughout my body to the ends of my fingers and my toes.
“It is you who does not love me,” he murmured quietly, ducking his head to nip at my ear. “Because you fear only a monster could love another monster.”
“True monsters aren’t capable of love at all,” I retorted before I could think of how he might take my words.
His flinch was imperceptible, but I felt it against my body and ached for him.
“No,” I said, the word harsh between us. “I meant you cannot be a monster when I so clearly see how much you love your friends and family.”
And me,I thought but didn’t have the courage to say.
“Your uncle was implying that if I asked you to give it all up for me, you would,” I confessed, because I didn’t want to have a secret with the older man and because I wanted to see how he might react to the possibility.
Raffa’s brows lifted, a lock of dark hair curving over his forehead as he stared down at me. “Mmm, I had not thought about that.”
I was startled into laughing. “You know, I thought the same thing. It doesn’t seem like a practical solution.”
“Practical? No. Not at all. But something I would have to seriously think about if you asked it of me,” he mused as if I’d asked him something casual, whether he wanted sugar in his coffee.
“Are you kidding?”
He blinked slowly as he puzzled through something and then shook his head as he looked into my eyes again. “No, I do notkid. Are you asking me?”
Adrenaline sluiced through me like acid, chewing up my bones and muscles until I felt like I might dissolve into nothing.
“No,” I said, more breath than voice. “I’m not asking.”
“And I am not saying it would be possible,” he returned easily. “But when I told you that whatever wish you made I would see done, I meant it.”
“This is real life, and you are not a genie,” I rebutted, an edge to my voice even I didn’t understand. “You couldn’t just ... leave easy as you please from this life.”
“You are right. It would take violence and planning. You would have to live with knowing I would kill many people who would try to come for us. Whatever happily ever after you might have imagined for yourself will never happen with me, Guinevere. Even in America, even living another life, I will always have a dark heart, and therefore we will always have a dark ever after. We will never be truly safe—no matter which life you think is best for yourself—as long as you are with me.”
Suddenly exhausted, I stopped dancing and tugged my hand from Raffa’s.
“Why is violence always the first answer with you?” I asked before turning on my heel and heading into the house.
There were people in the kitchen cleaning up and laughing, a couple in the room by the stairs making out heavily on the sofa, but I ignored them all to climb the stairs to my bedroom.
Behind me the clack of dress shoes followed.
I entered my room and tossed the door shut behind me only to have Raffa catch it in his hand and throw it closed once he entered after me.
“Why do you insist on being naive?” he demanded, his expression as fierce as that of a gladiator facing down three adversaries and a lion in the Colosseum. “You think your father escaped whatever hell he wasrunning from in Italy without bloodshed? You do not think he was running away from his own sins?”
