Page 3 of Seduced at Stevens Street
“And this mom could really use a few hours alone,” Kenzie added with a smile.
It was great to see her smile like that and crave time alone. It wasn’t that long ago that a break-in and an attack at her house had left her afraid to be alone. She was a mess for a few weeks after. I didn’t think I’d ever see her so content to be alone again. Thank God Andy had called in a trauma counselor right away for her.
“You got it, little momma,” I said. “What’s for dinner?”
Gia
Talk about timing! What did I find stuck in my mail slot, today of all days? The renewal of our apartment lease. Last night had clinched it for me. I was ending my relationship with Gary. It wasn’t just about the sex; there were so many other areas of incompatibility. Gary was all about his career and achieving success, no matter how many hours a week that took.
I couldn’t fault him for that, but I was more about balance. I loved my job as a yoga instructor for so many reasons. I promoted health and well-being, getting in exercise myself while I worked. I couldn’t imagine sitting behind a desk all day. I had many classes scattered throughout the day, with breaks in between to run errands or do chores. I knew I’d never get rich as a yoga instructor, but that didn’t matter to me. I had everything I wanted or needed.
The other big difference between Gary and me was that I did want to get married and have kids someday; two things that Gary had decided a few years ago were not in his plans. Again, I did not fault him for it; I just wish he had figured that out sooner than four years into our relationship.
I dropped the lease contract down on the kitchen table without looking at it and went into the kitchen to figure dinner out. Tonight was my night to cook, my early night with no evening class to teach. I hadn’t heard from Gary, so I had no idea whattime he’d be home. His evenings were getting later and later. I knew the proposal he had been working on was important, and I had many late evenings too, so I never complained, but tonight I wanted to have this talk with him early, before he was too tired.
Gary burst into the apartment when dinner was nearly done. “I got it; I nailed the account!” Gary was exuberant.
“That’s great, Gary!” I was happy for him. He had worked long and hard hours, and it mattered to him.
“I was offered a promotion to manage the account. But it’s in Chicago,” he said. “I told them I’d let them know tomorrow.”
“I think you need to take it,” I said with no hesitation.
He smiled wide. “You’d be willing to move to Chicago?”
“No, Gary, I won’t be going with you. You need to go, though,”
“What are you saying, Gia?” He was just starting to get it. He sat and pulled me onto the couch beside him.
“Gary, look, I think we both know this has been coming.”
“No,” he said, getting up and moving away from me. He paced, running his hand through his hair. “Gia, if this is about that bullshit last night, I was stressed and tired.”
“Gary, this isn’t about last night. This is about us in general. We just don’t work anymore. We’ve grown into different people. No one is at fault. It’s just what it is.” I suddenly felt very sad.
“Gia, I still love you. Come with me to Chicago; it will be a fresh start for us.”
I shook my head. “Gary, I want to get married and have kids. You don’t. That’s a huge difference.” I hadn’t brought that subject up in a long time. He probably assumed it was no longer important to me. It was.
“Gia, we can talk about this; we can work this out. Come on, this is what I’ve been working so hard for. Come with me; we can work it out, find a compromise so we’re both happy.”
“Gary, I’m happy for you. I am. I love you, and I always will, but that doesn’t mean we should stay together. I shouldn’t have to compromise on something as important as children.”
“Okay, one kid. We’ll have one kid,”
There was a time when I would have taken that and been ecstatic that he agreed. Thankfully, I was past that time. “That isn’t what you want. We both know it. There is no compromising on something like that. Your heart isn’t in it. It wouldn’t be fair to a child, to you, or to me, and it would end us, but with a whole lot more baggage. And we both know the hard work you have put in to get this promotion is only the beginning. You’re going to have to work even harder to grow your accounts and perform. You’ll be under a microscope for at least the first three months.”
“Six, actually. My probationary period is six months.” He took me in his arms and sighed loudly. He ran his hands through my long red hair. He had accepted it. I could tell. “I’m not saying either of us should wait for the other, but let’s do a three or a six-month separation and see where we each stand after that? I’m not ready to say this is over yet, Gia.”
I reluctantly agreed. I knew it was over, but I’d give him some time to arrive at the same conclusion. He wanted me to keep the apartment, and he said he would pay half the rent for the next year. I declined. I couldn’t afford the rent on my own, and I didn’t want him to have any obligation. I was sure that once he was settled in Chicago, he’d realize this was for the best. I knew I could afford a studio apartment and needed nothing more. He insisted I keep all the furniture and housewares because he wasn’t going to move any of it to Chicago. He also insisted I keep the security deposit to put down on my next place. He was getting a fat raise with the promotion and could afford to let me have it. I agreed to keep it.
And that was it; the few details of our breakup were worked out. Our six-year relationship ended with a whimper, not with a bang. It was fitting. There was no passion left. It had fizzled out years ago.
He packed up and was gone two weeks later. I gave our landlord notice that we would not be renewing our lease and began my search for my own place. I wanted to stay downtown, in this area. I was within walking distance of work, to the stores, to everywhere I needed to be. I began to box my things as soon as Gary was gone. The apartment ceased to feel like home. I felt sadness and emptiness, as well as a restlessness that no amountof meditation or yoga would cure. It wasn’t coupledom or Gary I missed. I just longed to move on, find closure, and start fresh.
I was having a hard time finding a place I could afford that would be open for me to move in when I needed. I found a great place six blocks further south than I really wanted to be, but it wouldn’t be available for a month after I needed to be out of the apartment. My best friend Sara offered that I could stay with her for the month, but I didn’t relish the idea of putting my stuff in storage and basically moving twice.
Later that week, when I was at the yoga studio where I worked, I went upstairs to retrieve a new box of the class punch cards we sold. I knew several members in my next class would need to buy a new class card. As I gazed around the space, the idea came to me. This would be the perfect little apartment. I was sure I could talk Claudine into letting me live here. Claudine was the studio owner and my boss. I had worked for her for eight years. It was just her, me and Heidi, another instructor. We covered the classes, each of us putting in about forty hours a week. It was comfortable, and we all got along well.
