Page 36 of Zahhn's Mate
Fuck fuck fuck.
I groan aloud, a bit dramatically, then slip off the stool. I quickly clean up the bar and turn down the lights.
But I’m suddenly second guessing my decision not to return to my quarters tonight. What if Zahhn shows up and I’m not there? I don’t want to see my father. Not only is he a rebel, but he’s a would-be murderer. Thousands of Darrvasons call theHaxxalhome, and he wants to kill as many as he can. While I can understand his misgivings about the alliance, I cannot condone his methods of protest.
In the end, I climb through the tubes to Deck Eleven, home sweet home, and slink through the shadows to my quarters. To my relief, I don’t hear any voices when I enter. Nor do I see anyone. My father’s bedroom door is cracked, and I peek inside to find it empty. Good. He’s gone. Probably out engaging in criminal activity, but at least he’s not here to try to convince me to help him.
I hurry to my bedroom and lock the door. Then I sit on my bed and hold vigil, waiting for Zahhn. Waiting for his arrival. Waiting for his voice in my head. Anything.
But no matter how hard I try to reach him, no matter how many thoughts I attempt to send his way, I receive no response. It’s as though he’s vanished from existence.
Worry clutches me. What if he was sick when he contacted me earlier in the night? What if his illness was the reason our conversation ended so abruptly?
I peer around my room, feeling trapped and useless. I rack my brain for anyone aboard theJansonnaI might ask for help. But the only people who hold enough power to contact the Darrvasons are the most corrupt of all. Unless…
Nathan Gonlez. He’s a security officer who was engaged to Jenny’s sister. I don’t know him well, but I know his face and I’m vaguely familiar with his work hours. I see him patrolling the corridors each day. Could he help me?
I huff and quickly push the idea aside. I don’t know for certain where his loyalties lie. Approaching him might be too risky.
What about Officer Brute? Maybe I ought to approach the Darrvason security officer who has an interest in Jenny. It’s been days since his visit to my bar, and he hasn’t turned me in yet. Clearly, he’s capable of keeping secrets.
Yes, I resolve, I’ll try to track him down tomorrow. From what I’ve heard, he’s been following poor Jenny around the ship lately. If I can’t find him myself, I can always ask her for help in facilitating a conversation.
I prepare myself for bed and climb under the covers, trying not to think about why I have fresh sheets. I’m still mortified that my father heardeverything, though why the opinion of a would-be murderer matters to me so much, I’m not sure.
At some point, I drift to sleep.
I awake in the morning to the beeping of my alarm, and I sit up in bed, weighed down with so much worry that it’s difficult to breathe.
Zahhn didn’t visit me last night. Not in person and not in my head.
I close my eyes and reach out with my thoughts, but nothing happens. I still can’t feel him.
Zahhn. I’m sorry, but I don’t want you as my mate. Forgive me, but I treasure the freedom I have on theJansonna, and I never planned to marry. I should have tried harder to push you away. I should have ignored myurges. But I still hope you’re okay. Please don’t be dead. Please, if you can hear me, let me know how you’re faring.
Chapter 22
ZAHHN
Days of terrifying silence pass.No matter how often I attempt to reach out, I’m unable to reestablish a conversation with Leona. I don’t understand why our mind-connection has faded. Perhaps it’s because I only rutted her once.
Typically, a heartbond between a Darrvason male and female takes about three moon cycles to fully form. It’s unusual that it’s already happening for Tornn and his mate, Ellie, just as it’s not typical that Leona and I were able to share a connection, however briefly it lasted.
I sigh as I consider traditional Darrvason mating practices, which are no longer applicable, as there are no young Darrvason females left.
Shortly before a Darrvason female turned nineteen, she would be relocated to a safe location, usually a locked room in her family’s home, in anticipation of her first heat. Once her first heat occurred, she would be given to a mate, a male of her father’s choosing, and the male would take her home and rut her until she was drenched in his scent.
If the female wasn’t properly drenched in her mate’s scent, she might encounter a ravenous unmated male when she ventured out in public. But if she was adequately covered in her mate’s scent, or the heartbond had already formed and her mate’s ancestral markings were glowing on her arms, she would be safe.
My people never believed it would be possible to share a heartbond with a human female. But now that we know it’s possible, the rules have changed. Admiral Tornn and his mate are proof that the heartbonds will likely develop much sooner than three moon cycles’ time.
I stand at the viewscreen in my quarters aboard theRorrsa, staring at theJansonna, wishing I could transport myself there in an instant. Well, I could, if I knew how to do it. But the first and only time I astral projected onto the human worldship, I did so by accident. Perhaps now I am trying too hard.
My attempts to search our database for information about Project Xeera have proved futile. Chief Kameer wasn’t lying when he said all information about the secretive project had been wiped from our records.
If only my father had confided in me about his involvement with the project. Perhaps then I would know something useful, such as the technique he used for astral projection. I assume he achieved some sort of trance or vibrational state of mind that helped him send his spirit to whatever enemy ship or planet contained his target.
I’m one of the brightest minds in the history of the Darrvason Empire. Why can’t I figure it out?
