Page 42 of Radakk's Mate
Nothing to fear?Yeah, right. I have everything to fear. The emperor wants to know about my past. I don’t want to tell him a thing about myself, but I fear if I lie to him, he’ll find out anyway. I mean, he could always ask Captain Warren. Sure, the captain of the worldship doesn’t know me personally, but he knew my mother, and he likely learned a great deal about my family during my father’s trial. During my uncles and cousins’ trials as well.
Hell, all my dirty laundry was aired to the entireJansonnaduring the trials. Emperor Radakk could probably ask anyone aboard the worldship about me and they’d be able to tell him a great deal. He could easily learn I was indeed a spy, that my mother was the only person to ever go missing from theJansonna, and that my official job was cleaning a mess hall. He could also learn how horribly my father treated me, how he forced me to start spying for him when I was just a little girl.
Fuck. Why am I blinking back tears?
I take a steadying breath as Emperor Radakk leads me into the smaller, more casual dining room. I suppose the formal dining room is reserved for when he entertains guests—not that I’ll ever attend such a dinner party. As possessive as he is, he’ll probably expect me to remain in my room every time another male enters his quarters. Even once I’m saturated in his scent.
The table is already laden with food. Various rice and vegetable dishes as well as stacks of raw meat. I’d learned during last night’s shared dinner that the Darrvason diet is heavily comprised of raw meat that’s grown in laboratories using cultivated animal cells.
We take our seats, and the emperor begins piling rice and vegetable dishes onto my plate. Closta fills our glasses with water and wine before disappearing into the kitchen.
“Thank you,” I murmur.
“You’re welcome. I was recently told that humans no longer eat meat,” he says, “however, if you would like to try it, I could ask Closta to cook some of it for you. I was also told that when humans used to eat meat, they ate it cooked.”
“Maybe next time. I’m quite happy with this,” I reply with a gesture at my plate. “Who told you that?”
“Captain Warren.”
My blood runs cold, and I wonder just how often he speaks with the captain. Has the captain already inquired about my behavior?
We eat in silence for a few minutes, and I’m so nervous, it’s all I can do to force the food down. When I consider lying to Emperor Radakk about my past, a heavy guilt that’s almost suffocating descends upon me. My upper arms also keep tingling. Every now and then, a powerful wave of submission will sweep over me, and it brings me a certain amount of peace. It’s almost like there’s another person inside me trying to coax me into being sweet and obedient for the emperor, and truthful.
“Tell me about your family on theJansonna,” he says, and my stomach sinks.
Shit shit shit. If he’s had conversations with Captain Warren, he might already know about my father’s trial and execution. What if this is a test? What if he’s fucking with me just to see if I’ll be honest?
And if I fail his test? There’s no doubt in my mind that he’ll punish me. He’ll spank me or take a strap to me. Fear skitters through me at the thought of enduring another shameful punishment session while draped over his knee, his free leg covering mine as he holds me down and swats my ass.
“Thalia?” His expression is gentle but also serious. He won’t allow me to ignore his question. He expects a prompt answer.
“I’m an only child, and on theJansonna, I lived with my father, his two brothers, and my three cousins. It’s very common for families to be crammed into small, shared quarters, especially when they work menial jobs. My mother… she’s gone.”
“Gone? You mentioned her when we met in the worldship’s docking bay.” His purple eyes gleam with suspicion.
“I lied.” I shrug one shoulder. “I was trying to think of a plausible excuse to explain my presence in the docking bay that wouldn’t paint me as a spy, and at the time, that was the best I could come up with.”
“I see.” He sets his utensil down. “How old were you when your mother died?”
I peer across the table at him, still nervous this whole conversation is a test. When I open my mouth, prepared to announce my mother died when I was four, that heaviness strikes me in the chest so hard I nearly gasp. The tingling on my upper arms also increases, and I find myself absently scratching my left arm, where the tingling is most pronounced.
“Thalia?” he prompts again. Irritation flares in his gaze, though I notice him taking a deep breath, as though he’s trying to summon patience.
“I was four years old, but she didn’t die. At least I hope she didn’t. She just disappeared from theJansonnaone day. Vanished without a trace. I don’t know what happened to her. But I pray she’s still alive, wherever she is.” I blink against the burning of tears, and my throat closes up.
Concern mars his features, and he taps a finger on his chin. “How many others have disappeared from theJansonnawithout a trace?”
I shake my head. “She’s the only one. The ship was searched for her remains, every room, every storage closet, and nothing was found. Not a sign of a struggle or a trace of blood. There are cameras in most places on theJansonnaas well, but the recordings didn’t turn up any evidence. She was seen walking down a corridor, getting ready to turn a corner, but then she never appeared in the next corridor.” Why I’m telling him so many details, I’m not sure. But I feel a compulsion to unburden my soul. I remind myself that just because I’m telling him about my mother doesn’t mean he’ll find out I’m determined to go looking for her. He doesn’t need to know that part.
“Sounds like she was beamed off the ship,” he says, frowning. “Was there an alien vessel nearby at the time?”
“Not that I know of. But…” My voice trails off. I need to stop talking. I need to shut the fuck up and wait until Captain Warren finally tells me what he knows. He knows the truth, and he’s promised to tell me as long as I keep the emperor happy. That’s what I should focus on now. Pleasing my mate. “But I suppose it’s possible there was a ship hidden somewhere,” I finish cryptically.
“Only a few aliens possess the technology to beam individuals off a ship,” Emperor Radakk says. “Only six races that I’m aware of. The technology glitches frequently and there are many accidents, far too many issues for my people to feel comfortable using it. That’s why we continue using transport vessels to travel from ship to ship within our fleet, and when we’re moving a large number of people, we’ll use a long docking tunnel between ships.”
“I didn’t realize how rare beaming technology is.” Hope surges in my chest. Maybe tracking my mother down won’t be so difficult after all. If I can return to the outpost that theJansonnavisited—the outpost we foolishly docked at seven days before her disappearance—perhaps I could find records that show which of those six alien races were in the vicinity at the time.
A thoughtful look crosses the emperor’s handsome face, and I find myself becoming more at ease in his presence. I’d expected him to bark questions at me and maybe even yell when I took too long to answer. To my surprise, he’s displaying more patience than I expected.
