Page 40 of Radakk's Mate
I think of my mother and wonder if I’m a fool for hoping I’ll ever see her again. I haven’t seen her in nearly sixteen years. That’s a long fucking time. What if I find her and she wants nothing to do with me? Darkness swirls in my mind. What if I learn she’s dead?
I never felt like I belonged on theJansonna. Out of place. I was always out of place. But I thought if I found my mother and joined her, I would finally belong somewhere. I would have a home.
Though my memories of her are vague, they’re filled with warmth. I remember her soft voice, her kind eyes, and her tinkling laughter. The way I always felt safe in her presence.
When she disappeared, a piece of me went with her, and I’ve been trying to get it back ever since. Trying to find her and trying to find myself.
I tilt my head to the side, straining my ears to listen, but I don’t hear voices in the sitting room. A few minutes ago, I heard the two males exchange what I assumed was a greeting, followed by footsteps and then nothing. I suspect they retired to the meeting room where they would have complete privacy.
Anger blooms inside me. Am I to be sent to my room like an errant child every time the emperor has a guest? I’m his mate,his mate, and this isn’t really my home. It’ll never be home.
Even if I decided to stay and try to make our forced relationship work, I’ll never feel at ease in a place where I might be banished to my room at a moment’s notice.
The anger surging through me morphs to sadness, and an abrupt wave of exhaustion hits me. I suppress a yawn and sink into a chair near the viewscreen, watching the small vessels that occasionally fly from one Darrvason ship to another within the massive hyperspace bubble in which the fleet is traveling. Not for the first time, the high level of technology the aliens possess shocks me. It also scares me. It’s a reminder that even if I did manage to escape Emperor Radakk, my freedom wouldn’t be very long lasting. Using his people’s resources, he would probably have little difficulty tracking me down.
Footsteps echo in the corridor outside my room, and I stand up and face the doorway, bracing myself for a confrontation with the emperor. I’m furious that he banished me to my bedroom, but even angrier that he plans to keep me locked in his quarters for several moon cycles. It’s outrageous, and I won’t stand for it.
But then I remember his comments about unmated males possibly stealing and claiming me, and a shiver races down my spine. Would that really happen if I walked the corridors of theHaxxalwithout his protection? Are his people truly so barbaric?
My fury starts to sputter out. What if he honestly just wants to keep me safe? Sure, his reasons for wanting me safe aren’t the best—he wants to impregnate me as quickly as possible to ensure his royal line—but there’s a small part of me that’s touched by his concern for my well-being. A very, very small part.
Emperor Radakk appears in the doorway. His eyes meet mine, and his expression is so warm it causes my breath to catch. He enters the room and holds up his wrist. He taps a button on the communication device he’s wearing, and a holograph appears in the air.
A planet. A blue-green planet. That’s what he’s showing me.
I step closer and wonder if this planet was the subject of his meeting with Admiral Tornn. My heart commences racing and my stomach does a tiny flip because holy shit this is happening fast. I didn’t expect the Darrvasons would locate a prospective planet for humankind so quickly.
“Is that…” My voice trails off, and I’m not sure what to feel. I never expected humankind would find a suitable planet to settle on during my lifetime.
“It’s called 58-Zallnanis, and we’ve already altered course for the planet. It will take approximately six moon cycles before we arrive. But the results from the probes we recently deployed indicate it’ll be perfect for your people.” He swipes his hand through the hologram, and an image of rolling green hills and a deep lush valley appears. Another swipe shows a sparkling lake, and yet another swipe reveals a range of snow-capped mountains.
“If it takes six months to journey there, how is it the probes have reached the planet already? Even if you sent the probes out on the day you first made contact with humans, I don’t see how it’s possible.”
“We deployed the probes twenty days ago; however, our probes don’t just travel through hyperspace as our ships do. In addition to hyperspace travel, they seek out tiny wormholes to shorten the length of their journey, wormholes that are too small for transport vessels to enter.” He swipes again and shows me several more images of the beautiful planet. It looks like an unspoiled Earth, and though I’m excited for the people of theJansonna—at long last humankind’s journey will come to an end—I also experience a stab of longing. I’ll never live there. I’m mated to a Darrvason who has no intention of letting me go.
“It’s breathtaking,” I say, forcing a smile. “How close to the Darrvason homeworld is it?” He hasn’t mentioned the planet his people call home, but I assume they must have a home. Somewhere. I assume they’ve taken their fleet to the stars in search of females from other worlds.
His face hardens. “The Darrvason homeworld is gone. It was destroyed by the Yelltzins. They obliterated our planet and killed most of our females.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” I swallow past the dryness in my throat. I’ve always been afraid to ask what happened to their females. “How long ago did that happen?”
“Twenty-five years.”
“And in all that time, you haven’t found a new planet for your own people to settle on?” Maybe I should stop asking questions. The dark gleam in his eyes indicates I’m broaching a subject he’s averse to discussing.
He lowers his wrist and the images of 58-Zallnanis disappear. “In truth, we’ve only been halfheartedly searching for a new planet for ourselves. More important than finding a planet to occupy, we must ensure we have enough females to prevent the extinction of our race. Finding females with whom we’re sexually compatible has been our first priority. It’s been our obsession.”
“After you help humankind get settled on 58-Zallnanis, will you increase efforts to find a new planet for yourselves? Or will you continue searching for more females?” They were demanding over two thousand human females, but perhaps they also planned to make alliances with other races in order to amass even more women. I’m not sure how many Darrvasons call the fleet home, but I’m fairly certain there are more than two thousand one hundred and thirty males scattered amongst the fourteen vessels.
“There’s no need. Planet 58-Z contains six large continents. It will be perfect for humans and Darrvasons to share.” He sits on my bed and draws me down next to him. He wraps an arm around my shoulders and places a hand upon my thigh, squeezing lightly. “It’s not official yet, but after I meet with my advisors to discuss the matter, I am confident that is the path we will take.”
“You truly want to share a planet with humankind?” I’m taken aback. “Captain Warren and his command team won’t like that.”
“Good friends of yours, are they?” He gives me a cynical look.
“No, but I know them well. I…” My voice trails off as reason takes over, and just in the nick of time. Shit. I’d almost confessed I’d been spying on them for years. I press my lips together and wish I could retract my words.I know them well. What a stupid thing to say.
“You really were a spy, weren’t you?” He peers at me as though he’s seeing me for the first time, and I can’t tell whether he’s surprised or horrified. He gives a slow shake of his head. “A female spy.”
