Page 29 of A Daddy for Hanna
He spun around and came face to face with Hanna. The office door was wide open, and she stood in the center of the room, watching him. He wondered how long she’d been standing there in silence.
His arms tingled with the need to wrap around her, to hold her tight and never let go. His gaze bored into her as he searched for any indication of her thoughts toward him. Her mesmerizing blues had a glassy look. Her lower lip quivered, and she bit it as if to quell her crying. Long, untamed blond locks streamed around her face, and she stood up straighter as they faced one another. The t-shirt and pajama pants she wore clung to her womanly form, hugging her body in all the right places. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, drawing attention to her full breasts and nipples that strained against her shirt.
“I don’t understand,” she said, reaching for his hand. Her gentle touch soothed his sorrow, if only a little.
“What don’t you understand?” He thought he’d spelled it out clearly on the porch. He’d killed a man. A boy. He’d been violent in the worst way in her people’s eyes.
“I don’t understand why your town pushed you away. You confessed. You said you were sorry. And it was an accident. You didn’t know it was a boy. You thought he was an intruder who meant to harm you.”
“My town pushed me away because of what I did. It makes no difference to them whether I’m sorry.”
Her brows knitted together, and she glanced at his chest. “I… I still don’t understand.”
Her reaction left Ben perplexed. “How would your people handle a murder?” he asked. “What if your father killed a neighbor, or one of your brothers? What would happen?”
She didn’t blink at his question. “A period of shunning might occur, depending on the sin, but no one is pushed away permanently. Any crime, any sin, is forgiven if the sinner confesses to the bishops and asks for forgiveness.”
“That’s crazy.”
Tears welled in her eyes. “Yes, I suppose it is.” She reached for his face and caressed his cheek. “Eli told me our people sometimes cover up crimes in order to keep the English out of our affairs. He says he believes we are just as violent and sinful as the English though, and that’s why he wasn’t afraid to leave. He always told me not to fear the outside world. He said he would rather live in a world with few secrets than a world steeped in them.”
Ben sighed. “He was pretty smart for a sixteen-year-old kid.”
She smiled at him through her tears. Acceptance shone in her eyes, and her voice shook with emotion when she finally spoke. “I think it’s time you bought a phone.” She rose up on her toes to kiss his cheek. “Daddy.”
A burning lump lodged in his throat, and he found himself blinking back tears of his own.
Daddy.
With a single word she’d given him more love and understanding than he’d felt in his whole life.
CHAPTER15
Darkness surrounded Hanna,and the stars sparkled in all their heavenly brilliance above. She took a sip of steaming tea and leaned back in the glider, rocking it slowly with one toe pressed to the porch. The hot liquid rolled down her throat, spreading out from her center and warming her insides.
After the emotionally draining day she’d had, she needed this bit of respite. She also needed some thinking time before she called Eli. She planned to call him tomorrow afternoon using one of Daddy’s burner phones and hoped her brother hadn’t already left for Pennsylvania.
What would she tell Eli? And Daddy?
She had a decision to make.
One would take her far across the country to an unfamiliar place, but she would be with her brother.
The other would keep her close to Daddy, though only miles away from the childhood home she wished to forget.
Of course, she didn’t want to forgetall of it. She missed the children, her nieces and nephews, and little cousins. She even missed stubborn Sarah, as well as Abram and Jacob. She didn’t miss her daat though. Or the suffocating house and the pressure to join the church.
She shivered and reached for the blanket she’d brought outside. The same fleece blanket Daddy had wrapped around her the night she’d learned all about desire. She draped it over her shoulders, careful not to spill the tea, and stared up at the beautiful night sky as if it held the answers to her problems.
She couldn’t even think of Ben Foster as Ben Foster anymore. The thought of calling him Mr. Foster felt odd. She liked the way Daddy rolled off her tongue, warming her insides like the hot tea. When he called herlittle girl, or sometimesbaby girl, she gushed with joy and felt complete.
In a few short weeks, he’d given her a glimpse of all she’d been missing out on. Affection. Companionship. Kindness. And today, honesty. The daily physical contact with another person breathed life into her. A simple hug or a kiss on the cheek from Daddy filled her spirits to bursting.
The door opened, jarring her from her thoughts. Light spilled into the night as Daddy exited the cabin. He joined her on the glider, draping an arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him, wishing she could have it all. Eli. Oregon. The world. Daddy.
She shut her eyes tight and inhaled Daddy’s familiar masculine scent, taking comfort in the strength of his presence. He didn’t speak, and neither did she. There was nothing to say. There was nothing to do. Except stare at the stars and listen to the sounds of the night.
Tomorrow was coming, and the next day, and the day after that too. Soon the day would come when Hanna would have to make the hardest decision of her life.
