Page 61 of The Duke's Spinster Bride
She shook her head. “How could I think less of you? When all you have done is show me how deeply you care for the people you-”
She cut herself off with a shaky breath. “I… I never knew my mother. I do not even think she held me in her arms. She died bringing me into this world.”
“And you think I would think less of you because of this?” Andrea could hear the confusion in Frederick’s voice.
“I…” For a moment she hesitated. If she told him the truth, there would be no future between them. There would be no chance at a real marriage.
This will set him free.She looked at him, shame forming a roiling mess in her body. “I was jealous. Jealous that you have memories of your mother, even though they cause you pain. Jealous that you got time with someone who you loved so dearly and who loved you, while I… ”
His eyes widened, but before she could turn away from him, he caught her face gently in his hands. Their foreheads were nearly touching.
“I would not think less of you for that.” His eyes bored into hers, intense pools of dark blue that seemed to drink in every part of her.
“I do not mean that I am jealous she died. Goodness only knows, I wish you had never had to know such pain. If it were within my power, I would change it so that your mother was still with us.” She shook, every muscle in her body full of an emotion she could not quite name.
“I know.” His breath tickled her skin. “And if I could, I would make it so that you could know your mother as I knew mine. Even if to lose them is painful.”
“What a pair we are.” Andrea leant her forehead against his, a dry chuckle escaping her.
“Indeed.” He agreed.
Her eyes met his once more. They were so close, she could practically count his eyelashes. They were long and curled, only adding to his beauty. She was acutely aware of the feel of his hand on her leg.
Her lips parted.
“The physician, your Graces.” Mr. Jenkins voice cut through the tension between them like a knife.
Andrea’s cheeks flushed deep scarlet as they sprang apart. She wiped her eyes, noting as Frederick did the same. He had stood, turning his back to her for a moment as he gestured to the door.
“Send him in.” Frederick’s voice was hoarse.
The physician bustled in, immediately going to Andrea’s side. She was barely aware of the words he said to her, only just about remembering to answer his questions.
Whenever the physician asked if he could touch some part of her, it brought to mind the feel of Frederick’s strong but gentle touch against her skin. Her cheeks burned and she could not quite bring herself to look at Frederick while the physician examined her.
“You will have to rest that ankle, Your Grace. It is not broken, thankfully. I suggest you stay off your feet for the next few days.” The physician snapped his bag shut. “Some nettle tea will also help with the swelling.”
“Thank you.” Andrea mumbled.Stay off my feet? But there is so much work to do.
“We are meant to journey to London on Friday, will her Grace be well enough to travel?” Frederick’s words jerked Andrea unpleasantly back to reality.
She tried to catch his eye, but he was no longer looking at her, instead his focus was completely on the physician. There was a tension in his body, his eyes wide as he waited for the physician’s reply.He is worried we will not be able to travel.
An ache spread through her chest.London.That was where they had planned to start their separate lives. Whatever she had thought was happening, whatever hope she had harboured were crushed beneath his words.
Clearly, he wishes to stick to our original agreement.That was what he wanted, and she owed it to him to give him that. It was the least she could do.
* * *
“Are you really going to do this?” Cecily asked, her eyes searching Andrea’s face.
They were walking in the garden of Cecily’s father’s London estate. Andrea and Frederick had arrived the day before, writing out the words for their agreement. Each draft had broken Andrea’s heart a little more, and the closer they had gotten to the city, the more it had felt like someone was pressing a great weight upon her body.
Andrea had decided to visit Cecily to try and get her thoughts together. Or at least, that was what she had told herself. In truth, she had struggled being so close to Frederick, knowing that they would soon be parted.
It is what I wanted. It is what he deserves.She met Cecily’s gaze and took a steadying breath. “Yes. I just… I am only here to make sure the wording of the agreement is right. I do not… I do not want anyone to think he has mistreated me or that he is the one at fault for this.”
“But why do it at all?” Cecily bit her lip, shaking her head as she folded her arms across her chest.
