Page 55 of The Duke's Spinster Bride
“A position I have never entirely understood, especially from someone as accomplished and as beautiful as you are.” Agatha gave her a pointed look.
“I do not really feel like I am any of those things.”Or that anyone would see those things in me. Andrea swallowed. “Or at least not beautiful. I suppose one could argue I am accomplished, though not as much as some others.”
“You are twenty six, to be too accomplished would be quite frankly, unbecoming. If you do too much, you will spend your old age bitter and pining for youth.” Agatha winked at her. “And believe me, old age is delightful so long as you leave yourself things to do.”
“Such as?” Andrea could not help but laugh.
“Whatever you wish.” Agatha cackled. “What is the point of living a long life if you cannot cause a little chaos every so often?”
“I suppose I had not thought of it like that.” Andrea grinned, but her smile faltered as she thought of marriage. “Though one is expected to accomplish certain things by a certain age. Especially when you are married. And I… I am not sure how I feel about that.”
Children.An ache filled her but she pushed it away, her heart hammering aggressively in her chest. She glanced at Agatha who was nodding, a knowing look in her eyes.
“The problem with you young people, is you forget that old people were once young people too. I have been married three times. And what I have learned over the course of those marriages, is that you will never be ready for any of it.” Agatha waved her cane in the air. “The real question is one of desire. The heart has a way of telling you what it wants, and rarely waits for you to be ready.”
“I wish it would speak more plainly if that is the case.” Andrea grumbled.
“I often find that in matters of the heart, the problem is rarely one of speaking plainly, but rather being too afraid to listen.” Agatha looked her up and down, mischief dancing in her eyes. “Or perhaps too stubborn.”
Andrea’s cheeks flushed a delicate shade of pink and she rubbed the back of her neck.
“In such circumstances, I find it best to take small steps. You do not have to do everything at once, there are always choices available to you.” Agatha looked meaningfully at Andrea, before shaking herself and gesturing around them. “I think I have let my grandson sleep long enough. I shall see you later.”
Andrea gave a start and then nodded towards Agatha. “Will you be joining us for dinner?”
“No, I plan on dining with Cecily. She wanted a break from the season, though we will both journey back together in a few days.” She tapped a finger to her lips thoughtfully. “Perhaps I shall insist that Thomas join us, after all, you and Frederick are on your honeymoon.”
Before Andrea could say another word, the Dowager Duchess swept away from her, leaving her alone with her thoughts. She rubbed a hand across her chest, the fullness not quite as overwhelming as it had been.
“A real marriage.” She muttered to herself, her heart speeding up at the words. “Is it… Could it even be possible?”
She shook her head. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end when she realised that the thought of caring for Frederick of that care deepening into something more, did not scare her.
What am I going to do now?
* * *
“You have been rather quiet this evening.” Frederick’s voice jerked Andrea back to the present.
They were in the dining room having just sat down for dinner. The Dowager Duchess had been true to her word and convinced Thomas to journey with her to Cecily’s father’s estate. All afternoon, Andrea had wrestled with her feelings and conversation with the woman.
She swallowed as she looked up into Frederick’s concerned face. “I am just tired.”
“I suppose we were up rather late.” Frederick grinned at her, his smile making her heart flutter wildly in her chest.
“Indeed.” Andrea agreed, smiling back at him.
“I am just grateful that grandmother did not say anything to upset you. I know… Well, I know she can be rather eccentric.” He sheepishly ate some of his beef. “With all this rain, it is fortunate they left when they did. I still cannot believe she convinced Elington to accompany her.”
Andrea seized upon the topic like a lifeline.Perhaps some distance will help me get my head on straight.“Actually, I was thinking of going to visit Cecily myself.”
Frederick paused with a forkful of potato half way to his mouth. “Oh – when?”
“Tomorrow.” She took a bite of her own beef. “The rain will probably stopped by then and well, it would be nice to see her.”
“The roads will be covered in mud, and it will be a long walk, even if it is not still raining.” Frederick frowned at her.
“Well, then, I shall ride out.” Andrea shrugged and sipped on her wine.
