Page 40 of The Duke's Spinster Bride
“Most women are focused on other things, so soon after their marriage.” Lucy gave her a meaningful look, and Andrea let out a splutter of indignation.
Her cheeks burned and she looked away.She is talking about producing an heir.The thought made her chest constrict.His grace has already made it clear that is not what he wants.An image of a child with his dark blue eyes and her blonde hair swam into her mind.
She pushed it away, an odd sensation coursing through her as she did.
“You know very well that this is a marriage in name alone.” She tapped her fingers against her thigh, her heart tumbling around her chest. “And you also know how I feel about such things.”
“Of course, all I am saying is that very few women would expect you to take on quite so much, and to do it all perfectly from the moment you start.”
“You know what the ton can be like. You know how harshly they can judge people.”Your deficiencies.Her father’s voice filled her mind. “No doubt they will already think less of me when… Well, when no heir is forthcoming. But at least they will not be able to accuse me of mismanaging the household.”
Andrea rolled her shoulders back, straightening as she did so.
“You are a duchess now, you need not curry their favour. Your husband can protect you.” Lucy pointed out.
“I cannot rely on his good will alone.”I will not rely on it.She clenched her fists. “Besides, we will part ways before long. I will return to London and he will… Well, he will do whatever it is he usually does I imagine.”
There was a pang in her chest, but she ignored it. They had agreed on going their separate ways, and no matter how much she was starting to enjoy the Duke’s company, that would not change.It is probably only the novelty of it anyway. That is it.
She had been perfectly happy without a man in her life, and no doubt she would continue to be happy once they had parted.He probably will not even wish to have me around if I cannot start to pull myself together around him.
Andrea absently fingered the engagement ring on her finger, shifting in her seat as she did so. What would the Duke think when they parted ways?Would he – no, what am I thinking?
“I think I am going to go for a walk. I am feeling far too restless to remain inside.” Andrea got to her feet and strode towards the door.
Lucy made to put her embroidery down. “Shall I accompany you?”
“That will not be necessary.” Andrea waved her away. “I need some time alone with my thoughts, and would not wish to interrupt you and your work.”
“If his Grace returns and asks where you are, what do you wish for me to tell him?” Lucy asked.
Andrea paused, a hand on the doorknob. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end, and forced herself to breathe.Where have you been?Her father’s voice echoed around her mind.
She counted to four as she inhaled and then again as she exhaled, flexing and unflexing her fingers. “I doubt that the Duke will ask where I have gone. But if he does, tell him… Tell him I am in the gardens. Or that I am out. Tell him that I have gone for a walk about the grounds.”
“As you wish, Your Grace.” Lucy stood and curtseyed to her.
“I will see you in time to change for dinner. I have my pocket watch with me so you will not need to come find me.” She held up the gold object.
The watch was one of the few things of her mother’s that she had. She had come across it when she was a child visiting her mother’s family. Her mother had left it behind once she had married Andrea’s father, as he had thought it a rather manly thing to be in her possession.
She ran her thumb over the inscription inside of it as she strode through the castle.To my darling, Helena, so that you might better count the hours until we are together again.It was from her grandfather to her grandmother.
“What would it be like to have someone love you like that?” She wondered, thinking about the portrait of the pair of them.
When she had first seen it, she had thought the portrait a particularly cruel joke. She had been angry, assuming it was a reference to some betrothal she knew nothing about until she had seen the inscription beneath the painting that had revealed it was her grandmother and grandfather.
“We could have been twins.” Andrea shook her head. “I wonder if it would have been strange for my mother to see what I looked like as I grew?”
Her chest tightened at the thought of her mother. Her father’s angry eyes seemed to bore into the back of her neck, and she rubbed at her skin.It feels like I have left a viper out there, waiting to strike.It made her think of Frederick – could she ask for his help?I told him I would deal with my father.
She pushed the thought out of her mind. “I have the power. Not him.”
But what am I supposed to do about him? What if he reveals what I did?She thought of her mother, and felt a weight settle across her chest.
She was so lost in her own thoughts, that she missed a step and stumbled into the garden, cursing as she flung out an arm to catch herself.
“Do you need a hand?” A voice called as Andrea pulled herself to her feet.
