Page 36 of The Duke's Spinster Bride
“He is not entirely so.” Andrea chewed her bottom lip. “But I am rubbish at talking to men usually. I get all flustered and tongue tied. And what if I do it wrong? What if I decide to be friends and that is exactly the wrong thing to do?”
“You will never know if you do not try. The Duke seems to care about your opinions, value them even.” Lucy gestured around them. “All you have to do is be yourself.”
“When he was complimenting me… I felt as though I might suffocate. It felt like the world was crumbling around me.” She shuddered, practically feeling the air thicken around her. “Any other woman would delight in such things. Yet I thought I would be sick. It terrified me.”
“It takes time to get used to new things.” Lucy patted her hand. “Compliments do not sit easy when they are so foreign.”
“I just… I cannot help but feel like he is wrong. I… I like the way he looks at me, that he was excited by my ideas. And yet, it feels as though my belly is full of eels.” She clutched at her stomach. “All my life, my father… He made me feel like I was nothing. Less than nothing.”
Her stomach twisted like the curl of her father’s lip.Pray that something similar is not taken from you.Her father’s words echoed, the promise of his threat.I do not want to let him win.She shook and gritted her teeth. Lucy put an arm around her.
“All of this takes time. Your father… He is not a kind man.” Lucy hesitated and looked at Andrea. “May I speak plainly, your Grace?”
“Of course.” Andrea nodded to her.
“Your father has been unkind to you. He has said many things to you which, well, they are not true. You have said you wished to be free of him, and now you are. He cannot touch you here, not with the Duke at your side.” Lucy’s eyes hardened.
“Am I broken?” Andrea felt like a girl, her voice upsettingly high.
Lucy’s eyes filled with tears and she shook her head. “No.”
“It feels like I am.” She leaned against the other woman.
Lucy rubbed Andrea’s arms. “I know. And in time, that will pass.”
“How?”
“You simply practice. If you want things to change, then you must change them.” Lucy moved away from her, and gazed into her eyes. “You do not have to believe your father’s words.”
Andrea pulled at a thread on the edge of her bedspread. She ran a hand along the fine fabric, her brow furrowed.
Frederick thought she had something to add to his estate. He wanted her opinion on running it. The excitement she had felt before he started complimenting her returned. She was not sure what to do about the warmth spreading between her and Frederick, but she was tired of fighting a losing battle.
More to the point, now that she had seen his own passion for the estate, she wanted to be a part of it. She stood up and walked to the window.
“I think it is time that I started behaving like a duchess.”
ChapterTwelve
“Oooof!” Frederick collided with someone as he was walking through the corridor.
Papers flew into the air, scattering across the floor. The dull thunk of books hitting the ground reverberated in the hall around them. Several small objects skittered across the stone, and Frederick heard someone cursing. He darted after one of the small bottles of ink, impressed that it had not broken. He scooped it up and knelt down to help gather the papers.
“I am terribly sorry, my mind was several million miles away, and I did not see you.” Frederick tried to tidy the papers into a neat pile.
“No really, it is fine. You need not apologise, it was my fault.” A familiar voice said, and Frederick looked up to see his wife bending down, fervently sweeping up the loose stacks of papers and books and bottles.
Their eyes met. He expected her to scowl at him, to tell him that he should pay better attention to where he was going, but to his surprise, she simply looked down at the pile of objects around her, faint spots of colour appearing on her cheeks.
“I fear I have made a terrible mess.” She swallowed but did not look at him. “But I will fix it, do not worry.”
“Allow me to help you.” Frederick leaned forwards.
“No, I can manage alone. I really do not need… I will be fine.” She pulled things into her arms.
A part of Frederick was tempted to leave her be. After all, if she wanted to carry too many things about the castle, that was her business. Besides, he knew how prickly she could get when they were around each other.
“Please, it is the least I can do after running into you like that.” He moved gestured to the scattered bits and pieces around them.
