Page 81 of Duchess By Accident
If she was gone, there would be no needless distractions. There would be no fear of losing control. He could just go about his day. Everything would be as it should be.
But she would not be here.The thought filled him with emptiness. He released her wrist, feeling the absence of her warmth as soon as he did.
“They are to me. If I stay, I will break my word, and I refuse to do that. I cannot be the one to do that.” Natalie gently traced her fingertips against where he had touched her.
“What word?” He forced himself not to reach for her again.
“The agreement we both made, right at the start of all this.” Natalie gestured around them, and there was an iron wall behind her words. “You know what I am referring to; you were the one who reminded me of it. There is no need for us to carry on with our plan, and so I must leave. You have kept your agreement and so must I.”
“And you must be at the castle to do that?” Adrian crossed his arms, arching an eyebrow at Natalie.
“Yes.” She replied simply.
Let her go.He could not. Instead, he found himself moving towards her, his eyes searching her face for meaning. “Is this agreement truly so important to you?”
“It is important to you. Or at least elements of it are. Tonight has shown me that you do not trust me, that perhaps you never trusted me and never will.” The break in Natalie’s voice shattered something inside Adrian. “A painful lesson to learn,but one I am thankful for. I had almost begun to believe our little lie.”
“I do trust you.” He reached for her, to brush the tears from her face, but she moved out of his reach, shaking her head.
“If you trusted me, you would have told me of your plan. But instead, you kept it from me.” Tears flooded her face, and she wiped them away with the back of her hand. “Though in some ways it is a relief, I had thought you were out all night… Well… I assume you have been concocting this little scheme.”
“I was.” Adrian saw little point in denying it.She is not a fool, unlike me.
“You would rather me think you had been cavorting than be truthful.” She let out a disgusted noise. “How little you must think of me.”
“That is the furthest thing from the truth. That is not why I did not tell you.” Adrian moved towards her. “You are the most-”
“- I know, you think that I am beautiful but curse me for a fool, I do not want you to only see my beauty.” She cut him off, gently placing a hand on his chest to hold him away from her. “I am a person, Adrian. I do not want you to want only my body.”
His thin nightshirt did little to disguise the softness of her skin. The warmth of her hands against his chest. He wiped a tear from her cheek with the pad of his thumb.
His eyes met hers. “What do you want?”
“It does not matter. You have shown me that. I need to honour our agreement.” She let her hand fall from his chest.
“And what about me? What about what I need?” His voice was hoarse.
“I am sure you can find someone else to attend to those needs.” There was bitterness in her voice that would make a lemon seem sweet.
The last vestiges of his control snapped and he closed the distance between them once more. “Damn it, Natalie. I do not want anyone else.”
He knew he should not admit it. It would be better to let her go, but he could not. His heart would not let him.
“Want is not enough to make me stay, Adrian. I do not want to be wanted. I want to be chosen.” Finally, the anger that he knew so well broke free in a strangled cry.
“Then let me choose you.” He reached for her hand, closing his fingers softly around hers. “Stay. Do not leave.”
“You want me to stay for Melody.” She shook her head.
“No. Stay for me.” He pulled her towards him, tilting her face upwards. “Curse me, Natalie, but I need you to stay.”
“I cannot stay and honour our agreement. You cannot have it both ways, Adrian.” She put a hand around his whether to hold it there or to pry it away he could not tell.
“Then burn the agreement. I do not care.” His heart thundered in his body, almost as loud as his voice. With a shaking breath, he lowered it, letting the depth of his emotion seep into his eyes.
He did not care that his voice was tight with desire. He did not care that he sounded hoarse and undone.
Let her see what she has done to me.He groaned. “I need you, Natalie. And I want you. And I do not mean your body. I mean your heart. I want all of you. I want you to be mine, heart and soul. I want to be with you. I do choose you. I am choosing you.”
