Page 36 of Duchess By Accident
Natalie and Melody were walking in the grounds of Blackwood castle together. It was a few days since her altercation with the Duke in the music room, and Natalie was still feeling rather pleased with herself.
Even in her little war with the Fox, Natalie had not forgotten why she was at Blackwood. In between her little defiances, she had spent time getting to know her daughter, and the more time they spent together, the more Natalie felt her heart melt.
“Maybe it is silly to give a tree a name.” Melody bit her lip.
“It is not silly. Trees deserve names. I have always though each of them have their own personality, and though they cannot speak, there is something comforting about sharing secrets with them.” Natalie smiled encouragingly at the girl. “There was a weepingwillow at Emberly who I spent many hours with. She listened to all the comings and goings of my life, my hopes, my dreams. I like to think she still keeps them safe.”
Melody’s eyes widened. “Then you do not think me strange?”
Natalie shook her head. “I think that the most interesting people are delightfully strange. And I would far rather be an oddball than the kind of person who makes paint drying seem interesting.”
“I had never thought of that. The village children tease me for being unusual.” Melody’s face fell, and Natalie could tell that she was remembering some unpleasant interaction.
Something dark coiled within her chest, and she resisted the urge to draw Melody to her. The Duke had explained that his daughter did not like to be touched unexpectedly, and Natalie had seen just how nervous and uncomfortable even the suggestion could make her.
She knelt on the ground beside Melody so that they were eye level. “People who tease you for being you, are not people worth being around.”
“That is what father says.” The girl did not sound convinced.
“And he is right.” Natalie was grateful the Duke was not around to hear her.I do not need to give him anything to gloat about.
Melody looked away from Natalie, staring at the tree a little way from them. “It does get lonely. Being strange.”
Natalie’s heart twisted in her chest. “I understand that. People are quick to judge and that can make things rather hard.”
Natalie thought of the way people had treated her as a child. The rumours they had believed about her brother and the way they had shunned her. She remembered the way women had whispered in streets once the vile Lord Bolton had plastered her scandal all over the Morning Post.
She clenched her fist. With any luck, that was all behind her. She looked at Melody, and the slump of her shoulders.How could anyone judge someone so sweet?
“It is why I need to be perfect. Maybe then I will have more friends.” Melody tugged on a strand of her hair, almost pulling it from her head.
Natalie made to reach for her, to stop her, but caught herself just in time. She hugged her hand to her chest, and fished about on the ground for a leaf.
She handed it to the girl. “Tear that. It will help the big emotions travel through you. And if you need another, simply pick one up.”
Melody took the leaf, absently shredding it between her tiny fingers.
“You need to know, that you are wonderful, just the way you are. You do not need to be perfect for anyone to like you.” Natalie’s voice was soft, but firm, even as her heart broke for the small girl in front of her.
Melody shook her head, and picked up another leaf to tear. “That cannot be true. If I was perfect, then people would like me.”
“People do like you.” Natalie replied.
“They do not.” Melody sounded defeated, as though this were a fact she had accepted long ago.
Natalie pointed to herself. “I like you. In fact, I utterly adore and love you. And your father loves you, and many of the servants do too.”
“But you all have to love me.” Melody frowned.
Natalie shook her head. “We have to be nice to you, but there is no obligation to feel any attachment to you. We love you because you are you.”
“But perhaps you would like me better if I was perfect.” Melody’s bottom lip trembled.
I wish I could hug her.Natalie moved closer, beckoning to Melody and glancing over her shoulder. “Would you like to know a secret?”
Her eyes widened and she inched towards Natalie. “Yes.”
“There is no such thing as perfect. If you spend your life trying to be perfect, you will just be miserable.” Natalie gestured around them. “My sister-in-law, Rose, spent her whole life trying to be perfect. She spent so long trying to be what someone else wanted her to be, that she forgot who she was. Until she married my brother.”
