Page 55 of The Duke's Stubborn Wallflower
“Laughed? Dear lady, I suspect if I had told you that you would be engaged to me, you might have spit fire.” Nigel laughed. “I do not think another woman has ever glared at me the way you have.”
“Well, they do say the line between love and hate is rather a thin one.” Olivia shrugged. “I confess, I far prefer love to hate.”
“That is good. I know of far too many marriages where one spouse hates another.” Nigel shuddered. “Why Baron Featherwhite and his wife have been married near two score years, and I do not think I have ever heard him say a pleasant thing about her.”
Olivia nodded. “I cannot imagine being tied into a loveless match, much less one that is loathsome.”
Nigel shrugged. “Not everyone has such choices.”
“I suppose that is true.” Olivia chewed her lip thoughtfully. “Would that we lived in a world where all were free to follow their heart.”
“Indeed.” Nigel nodded. “That would be truly a marvellous thing.”
“It is so easy to forget that a love match is a rarity.” Olivia gestured around her. “Especially when one is surrounded by married couples in love. Or when one’s own parents and those people around them were in love.”
“Yes.” Nigel thought of his mother, and unbidden, the image of her heartbroken form sobbing over his father’s coffin sprang to mind. He pushed the thought from his mind.
“I hope we are always able to follow our hearts.” Olivia squeezed his hand, searching his face with her eyes.
Nigel swallowed and squeezed her hand back. “As do I.”
“When we are married, do you think we will spend most of the time at Glassley?” Olivia asked. “Will we be able to have my family to stay on occasion?”
“Of course, your family will be welcome to stay as often as they want.” Nigel smiled. “And we shall visit them at Emberly as often as you desire.”
Olivia looked relieved. “I am glad. I worry that being so far from them may be hard.”
“For you?”
Olivia shook her head. “On them. After father died, well… we are all terribly close. And Alexander has his growing family now, and I worry that mother might get lonely without me.”
“I am sure she will miss you, but I suspect she will also be glad that you have found happiness.”
“I hope so too.” Olivia bit her lip, worry clear on her face. “Sometimes it feels as though it is my job to keep them all safe and happy. Isn’t that silly?”
“It is not silly. When my father died…” Nigel swallowed hard, the memory of his mother’s pain flooding through him. “… my mother was so overcome. For months, I feared I would lose her too. I did everything I could to make her smile. To show her that life was still out there.”
“That must have been very hard for you.” Olivia’s voice was soft, full of tenderness. “You were rather young when your father died, were you not?”
“Yes.”
“I wish I could have met him.” Olivia smiled sadly.
“So do I.”I wish he was still here.
“I am glad that our children will not have to bear such heartache and sorrow.” Olivia’s eyes lit up.
Nigel felt his heart twist.I should tell her. I must tell her.But the words would not come. Her eyes were so full of hope, of joy.How can I tell her that they shall grow up without a father?
“We are not even married and already you talk of children,” Nigel teased though his chest felt hollow. “I mostly fear that Dandelion will spend her life trying to herd them from one room to another.”
“Perhaps this will make it easier for us to wrangle them.” Olivia laughed. “My aunt’s dogs used to try and herd Alexander and me, but they were rarely successful.”
“That is probably because herding children is not quite the same as herding cows.” Nigel’s heart seemed to sag in his chest.
He could see it now, Olivia with a small child in her arms. Weeping as Dandelion lay by her feet.I have to tell her. She needs to know what she is agreeing to.
Olivia caught his eye, a questioning look on her face. “Penny for your thoughts?”
