Page 69 of The Duke's Stubborn Wallflower
“His man told me.” Nigel clenched his fists, and Olivia could hear his rage and pain in every word. “My cousin and his family, it would seem, are rotten to the core. They are the reason I never knew my grandfather. They are the reason I grew up without a father.”
It was as though a knife were twisting in her heart.I must be strong.The depth of Nigel’s pain spoke to the truth of his words, and a part of Olivia longed to comfort him. But she couldn’t.
“That doesn’t change what you did,” Olivia said bitterly. “It does not change any of this.”
“It was Briston that told you of the curse, was it not?” Nigel’s voice was full of pain. “He meant to drive us apart. He did not want us to marry because he could not risk me siring an heir.”
“And he would not have been able to drive us apart if you had told me the truth!” Olivia flung the words at Nigel as though they were daggers.
He took a step back. “Do you not love me?”
“Of course, I love you. God, I wish that I didn’t. I would do anything not to feel this way.” Olivia felt tears threaten, but she forced them away, even as her voice broke. “You lied to me Nigel. You kept this from me, and you can’t just show up at my window, sopping wet, and expect me to forgive you.”
“I should have told you the truth, should have told you it sooner.” Nigel looked up at her as though he was trying to find some hidden meaning in her face. “It was stupid, stupid not to tell you. I have regretted it every day. I expect I will regret it until I die.”
“But that doesn’t change what you did.” Olivia shook her head.
“It does not,” Nigel admitted. “I should never have kept it from you. I - I was scared. Whenever I tried to tell you I - I imagined your hurt face, and my heart, it broke. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Well, you did.” Olivia felt tears flowing down her cheeks.Damn him.“You broke my heart.”
“I know. And I will do whatever it takes to make it right!” Nigel yelled. “I would do anything you asked of me, anything at all. I would walk from noon and til night, until my feet were red and raw, and I could walk no more. Making pilgrimage to all the holiest of places that some Saint might grant me your forgiveness.”
“My forgiveness is not theirs to grant,” Olivia pointed out, even as something in her treacherous heart wavered.
“I would spend the rest of my life dancing with you in the garden, whistling the tune of our first dance. I would spend an eternity doing nothing but shopping if I thought it would make you forgive me,” Nigel called.
Olivia felt an odd mix of warmth and anger as she remembered him complaining about having to go shopping for new wedding clothes.
“What if we went together?” she had asked.
“If you are by my side, then I could do anything. Even something as dull and tedious as shopping,” Nigel had replied, smiling.
In the present, Olivia’s heart twisted. She felt something inside her start to waiver.He lied to me. He lied to me.
“I would let you laugh at my painting! Anything you desire, name it, and I will do it.”
Olivia felt the corners of her mouth begin to quirk up and took a step from the window. She shook her head.She needed to be strong. She could not just forgive him; how could she marry a man she did not trust?A man who did not trust me.
“I was going to tell you that day!” Nigel called to her, his voice pained.
Olivia frowned and leaned out of the window as she called, “But you said you could not tell me. I heard you say that to your mother.”
“Then you only heard half the conversation.” Nigel met her gaze, and Olivia saw the fire in his eyes even as he added, “I told you that listening at doors was not a good habit.”
Damn him. Why is he so wonderfully endearing when I am trying to stay cross with him?“What do you mean?”
“I had been telling her that I was scared, no terrified that I - I would not be able to tell you. But that I knew I must,” Nigel said, his words echoing in Olivia’s ears.
“So, you would have told me?” Olivia asked trying to keep the hope from her voice and heart.
“I swear it. I would not have let you marry me without knowing the truth.” Nigel ran a hand through his hair. “Even though it turns out… it wasn’t the truth at all. You deserve to make your own choices. I just… I just hope that you will choose me.”
Olivia’s head was ringing. The dam of her resistance gave way, and hope flooded through her.He was going to tell me.
She gripped the window frame, trying to steady herself as she fought to understand how everything had managed to change so quickly.Say something. Anything.
“Olivia?” Nigel’s voice rang out through the grounds, and Olivia was sure she heard whispering from several windows nearby. She ignored it, focusing on the earnest question in Nigel’s voice instead.
