Page 58 of The Duke's Stubborn Wallflower
He knows how upsetting this is to me, and he is enjoying it.Olivia felt a lump form in her throat but refused to give in.I will not give him the satisfaction.
Lord Briston walked with them in silence, and though he tried to conceal it, Olivia kept catching glimpses of his satisfaction. As they moved towards the carriage, and she caught one too many looks, she found her composure snapped.
“You are enjoying this, aren’t you?” She felt anger rise up in her and took solace in it.
“Why, good lady, I would never take joy in seeing another’s pain. Much less someone as lovely as yourself.” Lord Briston affected a mortified expression.
“You are not as good a liar as you think, My Lord.” Olivia clenched her fists, letting the anger fill her. “I had thought you a kind man, a little uninteresting perhaps but stable. Yet now, now I see the truth of you. You are a spiteful, jealous man who cannot bear another’s happiness.”
“And you are an impudent girl who was too blinded by ambition or naivety to see she was marrying a doomed man.” Lord Briston’s eyes flashed angrily before he seemed to get a hold of himself. “I… I am sorry. That… I did not mean that.”
“No. Do not apologise; that is the most honest thing you have ever said to me.” Olivia met Lord Briston’s gaze. “You have shown me your true colours, and for that, I am immeasurably grateful.”
They had reached the carriage, and the coachman held the door open for them. Before Lord Briston could say anything further, Olivia climbed into the carriage.
“Good day, Lord Briston,” Jane spoke firmly before climbing in after Olivia and nodding to the coachman to shut the door. “Home, Mr. Green.”
“Very good, Miss Jane,” Mr Green called back as he jerked the carriage into motion.
Olivia felt the anger that had sustained her moments before fade. An odd numbness settled over her, and she felt as though she were entirely separate from her body.He is dying.Surely, surely Nigel would have told her if this was true?
Jane was watching Olivia, and as if she had read her thoughts, she said, “Don’t listen to a word that horrible little man said. I’m sure he is just jealous. Nigel would not keep something like that from you, I’m sure he would not.”
Olivia nodded her head, feeling as though someone else was nodding in her stead. Yet even as she heard Jane’s words, she could not bring herself to believe them. She remembered the Duke’s insistence that he could not marry her. His continued remarks about the kind of life it would bring to her.
It would be a most terrible fate.Nigel’s words rang through her head. The doubt was no longer some fledgling thing, but it had taken root and spread through Olivia.
She remembered Alexander telling her that the Nigel had lost his father at a young age. But that was hardly unusual. Many people lost their father at a young age. Had Nigel’s grandfatheralso died young? Was it really true?It would be easy enough to discover.
She thought back to their conversation in the garden. When she had talked of their future and the odd look on Nigel’s face when she had spoken of their children having their father.Guilt.
She needed answers. Snapping herself back to the present, Olivia shook her head and banged her fist hard on the side of the carriage, making Jane jump in fright.
“Mr. Green?” she called.
“M’Lady?” the coachman answered. “Are you unwell?”
“No, I… I... I need you to take us to the Duke Glassley’s London house, not Pembleton Manor.” Olivia’s heart was hammering in her chest. “I have urgent business to which I must attend.”
“Of course, M’Lady,” Mr. Green called back, and Olivia felt the carriage lurch slightly as he changed direction.
“Olivia…” Jane looked at her friend. “Please, do not tell me that Lord Briston’s words have made you doubt Nigel.”
“How could they not?” Olivia clenched her hand into a fist, a ball of rage and sadness welling up within her.
“Because he was obviously jealous. You said so yourself — he was obviously trying to cause you distress.” Jane glowered at the memory.
“That does not mean his words are untrue.” Olivia felt a sadness steal over her. “Why make up a lie so fantastical that it would be easy to refute? Why not tell me something more sensible?”
Jane bit her lip. “If it is true… would it matter?”
“It matters not whether it is true, the pain is that he did not tell me himself. That he did not give me the chance to make my own decision.” Olivia felt tears stream down her cheeks. “How could he profess to love me and yet keep something like this from me? How can we marry if there is no trust between us?”
Jane opened her mouth and closed it, clearly at a loss for what to say. Olivia turned from her friend and stared out of the window. The carriage ride passed in silence, and almost before she knew it, she found herself standing outside the door of Nigel’s study.
She raised a hand to knock, ignoring the protests of the steward that the Duke was not to be disturbed. She could hear the sound of voices behind the door.Nigel and someone else.
Nigel’s voice was muffled through the door, and the protests of the steward drowned out the first part of his words, but what Olivia heard, was like a knife in her heart. “I cannot tell her that I am a dying man.”
