Page 40 of The Duke's Stubborn Wallflower
“What is wrong with you?” Olivia murmured to herself as she wound her way towards the eastern library, her favourite room in the house. “It was just a dance. There is no reason for you to be so unmade.”
She flung the library door open and leaned against one of the bookshelves, praying that her breath would return. She could still feel the warmth of Nigel’s hands around hers.
Absently she curled her fingers into a fist, as if to trap the feeling within them. “Why, why him?”
Olivia shook her head, the scent of nutmeg and cinnamon still fresh in her mind. “Of all the men in the world, why am I drawn to him? The man who thinks I am too immature and naïve for him.”
She slumped against the bookshelf, her breaths gradually deepening. “I am supposed to want his cousin. Not this… Not…”Yet when I am with Lord Briston, it feels pleasant enough but nothing more.
Things flow with Nigel. There is an odd rightness, but how can that be? It makes no sense.Olivia let out a frustrated noise and scowled out of the window into the moonlit garden.
There were a few figures dotted around, each seeming to enjoy the quiet peace the gardens had to offer. Some were holding hands, and Olivia felt an odd prickle of jealousy stir within her.What would it be like to walk hand in hand through the moonlight with someone you cared for?
“It would seem this season is destined to be just as much of a failure as the last one. I cannot even manage to fall into the match someone else has already put into motion.” Olivia frowned. “Though I had rather expected the match Lady Cotswalts proposed to feel more right.”
Distantly she was aware of a clock chiming.How long have I been standing here? Will anyone have even missed me?She refused to wonder if Nigel might be worried about her. Her treacherous heart twisted at the thought.
“There must be something deeply, deeply wrong with me,” Olivia sighed.
“Why would you say that?” a familiar voice said from behind her.
She whirled around, her heart hammering. Nigel stood in the doorway, his face half illuminated by the moonlight, the other half in shadow.
For a moment, neither of them said anything. Olivia’s mind seemed almost sluggish. Nigel took a step towards her.
“I did not mean to intrude. I… I just wanted to make sure you were well.” He made to take another step towards her and then seemed to think better of it. “I seem to have upset you. Again.”
“You have not caused me any upset.” Olivia was grateful for how steady her voice sounded.
“Then why did you flee?” Nigel canted his head towards her.
“Why did you follow?” Olivia shot back.Why are you here?
“I don’t know.” As soon as he said the words, it was as if all the air in the room vanished.
Oh.
Chapter Fourteen
Ill met by Moonlight
Nigel had no idea why he had followed Olivia. The smell of fresh lavender filled him, the smell of her. He could still feel the softness of her hand in his. As soon as she had left the dance floor, he knew he should have left her be.
And yet, his feet had other ideas. He had followed her through the halls and then stood outside the library, wrestling with the strange urge that seemed to have a hold of him.This is madness. Stop this at once.
And then he heard her say, “There must be something deeply, deeply wrong with me.”
In that moment, the last semblance of self-control snapped, and he found himself opening the door.How can she think that anything at all could be wrong with her.
Her eyes widened, her delicate white skin almost glowing in the moonlight. He heard her ask, “Why did you follow.”
“I don’t know.” The words fell between them, silence stretching out. “I wanted to make sure you were well.”
“What does it matter to you if I am well or not?” Olivia folded her arms across her chest.
“It matters.” Nigel shook his head. “It matters a great deal.”
“I find that hard to believe.
