Page 32 of Orange Spell
CURRAN WANTED THISmess to be over, so the sooner he could get Marlin to walk him back to his rooms, the better it would be.It wasn’t like he wanted to be away from Marlin—between his feelings for Marlin and his hormones, he wanted nothing more than to cuddle with him—but he was overwhelmed.He hadn’t been planning on telling anyone about the baby today.He certainly hadn’t been planning on telling Birch who the baby’s father was.
He was glad he had, though.He still had to tell his mothers, but the big hurdle was out of the way.He could finally relax and stop hiding.
He left the office, knowing that Marlin would be right behind him.He didn’t have to check.He waved at Tito, who looked confused but waved back, then strode out into the hallway.He could feel Marlin behind him, but he didn’t turn.
Part of him wanted to scream.What was Marlin going to say?Curran had no doubts that Marlin would want to be in the baby’s life and do what was best for them, but what about what was best for Curran?Curran didn’t even know what that best was.He just knew that he wanted Marlin and that he had zero chance of having him.
They walked in silence for a while, and Curran was grateful.It gave him a little time, but unfortunately, it wasn’t long enough for him to stop freaking out or to think of something to say.Maybe it was best for him not to say anything at all.He doubted that Marlin would allow him to get away with that, unfortunately.
“So,” Marlin eventually said.
Curran resisted the urge to groan.“So.”
“I know you don’t want to talk to me right now.That’s fine.”
“Is it?I’m sure you want answers.”
“I do, but I don’t think you have those answers.”
Curran could have cried.“No, I don’t.I mean, I know how this happened, but that’s about it.”
“I’m sorry that you had to deal with this on your own.I understand why you didn’t come to me, though.”
Curran sighed.How did Marlin have the power to make him feel guilty about this?“It was nothing against you.”
“I know.The situation is kind of complicated.”
“Kind of?”
“Well, I thought Birch would have a different reaction, so that wasn’t bad.”
Curran agreed.He’d expected his brother to explode, but instead, Birch had understood.He’d said that he didn’t care that Marlin and Curran were together—they weren’t—but Birch knew how Curran felt.Curran was pretty sure that the only one who didn’t was Marlin.Clearly, Birch had thought that Curran had finally talked to Marlin and that they’d gotten together, and now, Curran would have to tell him that no, he hadn’t, and that the only reason Marlin had been with him was that they’d both been drunk.
Their situation was going to get messier before it got any better, wouldn’t it?
“About what Birch said,” Marlin continued.
Curran needed him to stop right now.“It’s fine.I know you don’t see me like that, and I don’t expect anything from you, not even with the baby.You didn’t want this.I don’t want you to be stuck with it because you made a stupid mistake.”
“I don’t even know where to start,” Marlin said with a frown.“I’m not stuck with anything, just like you’re not.”
Curran looked down at his stomach.“Well, I kind of am.”
“You know what I mean.Having a child with you isn’t being stuck.I’m honored.”
Curran snorted.“You can stop talking as if you want this.”
“What if I do want it?”
Curran didn’t know how to answer that.“I didn’t think you wanted kids.”
“I didn’t think I couldhavekids.You know how your brother and I were raised.We’re supposed to sacrifice everything for the king, including any personal and family time.I always thought it would be easier just not to have anyone, and maybe it would be, but this is an opportunity I can’t regret.”
“You don’t regret it?”
“Never.It might not be the way I thought my life would go, but it doesn’t make it a bad thing.If I have to have a child with anyone, I’m glad it’ll be you.”
What was Curran supposed to say to that?“I’m glad it’s you, too,” he murmured.
