Page 38 of Orange Spell
“I’d do it anyway.Besides, I’m not planning on meeting anyone else.”
“Why not?I mean, I know what you said about your job and everything, but it doesn’t mean you have to spend the rest of your life alone.Killian wouldn’t want that.He’d hate knowing you’re alone because of him.”
“I don’twantanyone else, Curran.”
“Well, I don’t expect you to meet anyone right now.I realize that having a baby with me is making everything even more complicated, but never say never, right?I want you to be happy, and I don’t want to feel like I took that opportunity away because of what happened.”
Curran truly didn’t understand, but it was Marlin’s fault.Even though they’d spent a night together, he’d never told Curran how he felt.He’d hoped to have the opportunity to do so the morning after the party, but Curran had been gone by the time he’d woken up.There hadn’tbeenan opportunity to talk, and considering Curran’s behavior since he’d found out about the baby, Marlin was pretty sure he was about to make a fool of himself, but he needed to know, if not for himself, for the baby.If there was even one chance that they could be a real family, Marlin wanted to take it.He wanted their child to see their parents together and happy.
He was scared, probably more than he’d ever been when it came to his personal life.That wasn’t enough to stop him.He turned more fully toward Curran, who was still talking about him finding a partner, and he reached out to cup his cheek.Curran stopped talking instantly and blinked at Marlin, a question clear in his gaze.The only answer Marlin had for him was easier shown than said, so he leaned forward to press their lips together.
For a second, Curran didn’t react, and Marlin thought for sure he’d made a mistake.He was about to move back and apologize when Curran surged forward.He wrapped his arms around Marlin’s neck and hung on.Marlin grinned and kissed him harder, feeling smug when Curran moaned.
He didn’t know how long they kissed before Curran moved to climb into his lap.He wanted more, and it was obvious that he wasn’t the only one.He reached between them, marveling when his fingers brushed against the growing bump of Curran’s stomach.He’d have time to dedicate to it later.For now, he wanted to touch more of Curran, so he went lower, but Curran caught his wrist and shook his head.
Marlin was confused for a moment, but of course he stopped.It was hard to resist reaching for Curran when he climbed off Marlin’s lap, though.Marlin had no idea what he’d done wrong, but he wanted to fix it.
“Look, I can’t do this,” Curran said.
Marlin’s stomach dropped.“You can’t do what?”
When Curran turned his eyes toward Marlin, Marlin could see the pain in his gaze, and he wanted to do everything in his power to take it away.
He was afraid that the only way to do so was to take a step back and give Curran more space.
* * * *
CURRAN WANTED TO CRAWLback into Marlin’s arms.He wanted so much more to happen.
He was also terrified that it would.
“I’m sorry.I just wouldn’t put it past my mothers to be out there, listening in.”
Marlin quickly glanced at the door.“Really?Why would they want to listen in on what just happened?”
“Oh, not on that, but they’d want to know what we decided.”
“Wouldn’t it be easier for them to ask?”
Curran snorted.He felt better now that there was some space between them.It was almost like they were back to the kind of relationship they’d had as Birch’s brother and his best friend.“You know my mothers.They won’t ever hesitate to spy on people to find out what they want to know.”
“That’s true.And I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
This was it.Curran had a choice to make, and he had no idea which way to go.
He could tell Marlin that hehadmade him uncomfortable and that they should stop doingthat.It was what had gotten them into trouble to begin with.If they weren’t going to be in a relationship, they needed to stop hooking up because it would make things messy—or messier than they already were, anyway.
But on the other hand, if this was all Curran could have of Marlin, he wasn’t sure he could give it up.He didn’t know how long it would last, but it was better than nothing, right?He could enjoy it as long as it lasted and take a step back once Marlin was done with him.He wasn’t sure he’d beableto take a step back, but he also wasn’t sure he could give up having more of Marlin than he ever had before.
“It’s fine,” he eventually said.“You didn’t make me uncomfortable.We already did it once, remember?”
Marlin’s gaze flickered down to Curran’s stomach.Curran had to resist the urge to curl in over himself and try to hide.Marlin knew about the baby.Hell, everyone in Curran’s life knew about the baby.There was no reason for him to hide anymore.He was just so used to it that it was instinct by now.
“So, you want me to be there when you lay the egg,” Marlin said as he reached over and took Curran’s hand.
He curled their fingers together and squeezed.Curran stared at their hands, wondering what the fuck was going on.It was almost as if they were a couple.
“Curran?”
