Page 42 of What Desire Demands, My Duke

No, not important, he corrected, shaking his head. Nothing about my past is important to me. She is only a distraction, one I have not yet learned how to overcome.

Shaking his head more vigorously, as if that would toss her image right out of his head, William tried to focus on the matters he had to address on his desk. It didn’t work very well, but at least he could try to concentrate.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, but when he looked back up, he noticed that the sun was dipping past the horizon. An orange glow lit up his study and for a moment, William was captured by the sight. A memory slipped through his mind, one of a young Elizabeth standing at the bank of a river while a similar orange sunset made her hair glow. That had been the moment William had promised himself he would never let her go.

Gritting his teeth, William shot to his feet, slamming his hands onto the desk. The bang echoed throughout the room, but it didn’t chase away the memory. If anything, it grew sharper in his mind’s eye, enough to drive him insane.

This was the very reason he did not want to have Elizabeth here. She made him remember things that he’d long since tucked away, things he did not want to think about ever again. Soon, the ones that had broken him would intrude, and William was not prepared to go through that again.

He should stay away from her. He knew that very well. Even if he couldn’t bring himself to send her away just yet, distancing himself from the problem should help, if only a little bit.

But William wanted to do the opposite. And he’d never been one to deny himself exactly what he wanted.

He left his study, making his way to the dining room. It was about time for dinner. Soon, he would see Elizabeth again, would be able to watch her eat and blush and smile and grow shy around him. His heart began to pound at the thought.

He sat in his chair, tapping his fingers against the table in his impatience. Elizabeth should be here soon. He need only wait and then she’d been sweeping into the dining room like the angelic beauty that she was.

His impatience grew deeper, darker, more intense as the minutes rolled by. Footmen stood on hand waiting to serve the dinner, but William held them at bay, wanting her to arrive first. But as time stretched on, William wondered if she would not come at all.

“Fetch Harold,” he said, not looking away from the door, and one of the footmen went running to do as he was told. Soon enough, Harold entered the dining room and came to stand next to William with a bow.

“How may I be of service, Your Grace?” he asked, his eyes trained on the table.

“Lady Elizabeth,” William pushed out, annoyed with the fact that ever since she’d come here, inquiring about her whereabouts as all he asked of the butler. “Where is she right now?”

“I believe she is taking a stroll through the gardens.”

“So late?” William demanded but silence met his words. Trying to bring himself back together, William rose. He said nothing as he left the dining hall, but his steps were quick and long, taking him out into the gardens.

It would not be easy finding her within this large stretch of land filled with twists and turns, but that didn’t stop him. Nor did the realization that he was acting out of character slow his steps. He couldn’t only think about how easily she’d left him behind in the stables, how she hadn’t even looked back once even though he’d been right behind her. And now, it appeared she did not care to have dinner with him? William didn’t want to know why that bothered him so much.

As luck would have it, he did not have to scour the entire garden to find her. He drew to a halt when he saw Elizabeth standing by a swing hung from the branch of a large tree. She pushed the swing back and forth in an idle manner, singing under her breath.

“Beth,” William called and watched, for the second time today, as she turned to look at him in surprise.

“William,” she greeted with a soft smile. “How lovely to see you. Are you finished with the work you had to do?”

William inched closer, wariness creeping through him. “No, I am not, but I did think to have dinner, like you suggested.”

Though her smile was bright, she did not come closer to him. She did not blush. She even looked away, sitting on the swing now, as if she was not as overly pleased to see him like she had been before. “That is good,” she said. “I was afraid you would work throughout the night without a single morsel of food in your stomach.”

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