Page 48 of Every Bit As Perfect
We walked until we reached the footbridge to Carousel Island.
I tipped my chin back to look up at his face.“Have you been to Carousel Island yet?”
He smiled down at me softly.“Not yet.You want to remedy that?”
I nodded.“I want to show you something.”
Not once, in all the years I’d missed him, had I veered from my routine on this day.But I wanted to share something good with Daire.That something good being Hunter.As if I could somehow bring them together.
“We used to come here all the time as kids.”I smiled at the memories.“Old Man Gilley looked after the carousel, and he loved Hunter.Adored him.”I shrugged.“Not many people didn’t.And Hunter loved that carousel and loved this tiny island.It closed every night at eight.When we were in our teens, Hunter borrowed the keys without Old Man Gilley’s knowledge and made copies.We snuck into the park and rode the ponies every night.”
“I think I would have liked him,” Daire mused then corrected himself.“I know I would have liked him.How was he with you?”
I saw the old carousel in the distance and lengthened my steps.“He was my hero and my friend.And I’m not just saying that because he’s gone and I’m seeing him through rose-colored glasses.He had his faults, but he never failed me.”
I stopped short and squeezed my eyes shut, the back of my hand hitting my mouth as if it could stem the tide of my grief.
Because while he never failed me, I had desperately failed him.
Daire turned me into his chest, his big hand cupping the back of my head.
The pain of losing him throttled my words.I could do nothing but cling to Daire and share the burden of my grief with someone other than Hunter for the first time.
“I never cry.”My breath hitched in my throat.“I know that seems impossible to you right now, but it’s the truth.”
“You’ve been strong all on your own for a really long time.”
On my own, yes.Strong?I wasn’t so sure I wasn’t just scared of the truth.
Even now, I wanted to confess.Tell Daire everything.As if he could absolve me.
“Oh, God!”I groaned.“I can’t believe this.I’m telling you, I never cry.Not at home.Not in private.Not ever.Except at The Point and only once a year.And I don’t ever cry in front of anyone else.I’m so sorry I’m blubbering all over you.”
His hand knotted in my hair, the sharp sting serving again to center me, as he curled around me.“Don’t, Harley.Don’t be sorry.To comfort you is a privilege, and not one I take lightly.”
Loosening his grip on my hair, he straightened and wrapped both hands around the back of my neck, pushing his strong fingers up into my hair to massage my scalp.
My head fell back in his hands as the tension eased from my jaw, as the muscles around my mouth relaxed.
“That’s it, little one,” he murmured softly.“Give yourself over to me for just a minute.Let me take this one minute out of your hands and give you a breather.”
I breathed in deeply, my chest expanding, my neck arching back further.“That’s so good, Daire.”
“Better?”he asked gruffly.
My eyes fluttered open.
He studied me intently.
I searched his eyes but could not read his face.“Are you okay?”I whispered.“It’s too much,” I decided, pulling away.
He tightened his hold.“You are not too much.How about you show me Hunter’s carousel now?”
Stepping out of the circle of his arms, I nodded and moved toward the carousel.Finding the right pony almost immediately, I bent low and pointed to the inside of the back leg where all five of us had carved our names.
“We had a habit of carving our names everywhere we could.Here.The bench at The Lookout.”I laughed out loud.“I was sad because I didn’t technically make the swim team.Hunter, Noelle, and Max bought a can of spray paint and changed the sign for Hailey’s Falls into Harley’s Falls.We got in so much trouble for that.”My throat closed up again.“If you look closely, you can still see the faint outline of the R we couldn’t entirely erase.”
I dropped down to my haunches.“Look here.”Tracing the plaque bolted to the pony’s chest, I read it out loud.Ride on, little buddy.“Old Man Gilley put this here after Hunter died.I think he was onto us the whole time.He loved Hunter so much.”I paused to even out my breathing.“He died a few years after Hunter.He owned the carousel, and the town leased it from him.He left it to the town in his will with the stipulation that this pony never be painted over.”
