Page 105 of Every Bit As Perfect
There would be no relief for me.
Because Hunter didn’t deserve to be forgotten.
I rolled to my stomach and pressed my face into my pillow, happy Daire wasn’t here to comfort me.
How could I forget Hunter for even a minute let alone weeks?
Daire.
I was living the life Hunter dreamed of.
Managing the resort.
Finding a great love.
Enjoying our family, which he would be doing with me if only I had made the right choice that day.
To be there for him like he had always been there for me.
Always.
And me, the coddled baby sister, taking and taking and fucking taking from everybody and never giving back until everything that mattered was taken from me.
Suffocated by everything good in my life, I climbed out of bed, needing to escape the home I filled with softness to hold and comfort me.Hurriedly, I pulled on yesterday’s clothes and added a heavy fleece hoody.
Without thinking, I scooped Daire’s bit of sea glass out of the dish on my shelf and slipped it into my pocket.
Trudging downstairs, I headed for the beach.
I slowly tracked the edge of the shoreline, collecting more mermaid tears in the palm of my hand as I walked, searching for someone to grieve with me.
Only I hadn’t been grieving.
I’d been living while he lay cold and alone.
I sobbed aloud.Grateful the beach was too cold for anyone other than me that morning.
Wind blew in off the waves bringing the sting of cold water to my already tear-drenched face.
I opened my palm and let her tears fall to the sand, because all these weeks, she’d grieved alone.
I rolled my neck, my skin too tight, and flexed my fists.Spinning around, I backtracked the way I came, unable to fathom how I came to be in this dark place and if I should even attempt to leave.
My skin was too tight.
The wave of grief swelling inside me threatened to split me open.I needed to escape to a place where I could set it free.
A place where no one would try to comfort me.
The bluffs.The closest place on earth to him.The place we escaped to when the world became too much for him.
Plodding up the trail, my legs weighing heavily, my body cumbersome, I only made it as far as The Lookout.I sat down on the ground with my back to the bench, the etching of our names at my back.
More exhausted than I could ever remember being in my life, I pulled up my hood and closed my eyes.
When I could no longer feel my toes, I started back down the trail.
“Harley.”
