Page 92 of The Circle of Exile
“Iram,” Dr. Baig reached for her hand. Her palms were smooth, soft, warm, sandwiching her hand between them. “You had a tough time at the end of your pregnancy. But your children were healthy. All our tests showed that, remember?”
She nodded.
“Blaming yourself will not do you any good. Nor will it do your family any good. Least of all Yathaarth.”
She exhaled through her nostrils.
“The great thing about having children is that you cannot look backwards. For them, you have to look forward — because they grow only one way. Guess which?”
“Up.”
“Exactly. So, do not stay stuck in what happened that day in the OT. Your son is here, with you, and needs to be bathed, massaged, entertained, taken care of. Your duty is not limited to only feeding him.”
“I am not confident in holding him…”
“Nonsense! He is four, almost five months old now, his neck is also stabilising. Hold him. Start doing it sitting on the bed.”
“And if he cries?”
“Let him. I told you last time also, babies latch onto your emotions. I’m sure you are holding him right but are just so sacred of doing it that he catches on. If you weren’t holding him right, Safiya Begum or Kaul sahab would correct you, isn’t it?”
She nodded.
“So, new assignment — this week, starting today, you will do everything that your son needs. Keep people around you if you want, take their help if you need. But own your son.”
“I felt like I was doing well before I came here…”
“And you are. This exercise is advanced level.”
Iram chuckled, feeling Dr. Baig’s palms press affectionately around hers.
“Kaul sahab is my monitor for this one.”
“Already sharpening my pencil to write her name on the bad children list.”
Iram glanced back at him over her shoulder — “I am going to ace this one.”
One eyebrow shot up, grey eyes challenging — “Let’s see.”
19. My heart was a hollow place…
My heart was a hollow place.
But then you came.
Flowing like water.
Falling wherever you wanted.
Without invitation.
Without limitation.
You tore it open.
Went and poured inside.
Filling every inch of space.
