Page 262 of The Circle of Exile
“He is going.”
“You just said he will hand-deliver my attar!”
“But he has to go for that, myani zuv.”
She punched his arm — “Don’t talk in circles.”
He laughed, grabbing her hand and pulling her close and into his side. Iram lay her head on his chest — “He will deliver some papers to Adil and come back. With your attar,” he kissed the top of her head.
A long breath left her mouth, warming the cotton of his shirt.
“Are you ready, Atharva?”
“For what?”
“For not going home.”
He opened his mouth but her next words stalled him.
“For not going home and still being happy here?”
He glanced down at her.
“Life will never give me 100%. Something will always be missing,” he ran his palm up and down her arm. “But as long as you and Arth are not the missing ones, I will live.”
Her head fell back, those browns smiling for him like they always had. How had he found a pair of deep, melancholic eyes and had the privilege of seeing them transform into these content, wise ones?
“What will you do?”
“Resign from KDP.”
“What?”
“That’s the final white flag to assure Qureshi that I am not coming for his chair.”
“Do you think he will accept it?”
“What, the resignation or the white flag?”
“Both.”
“Yes to one, no to the other. But I need to break it off now. Stop being connected to KDP. I did not agree with most of their decisions of the last few years, but I stayed. With Awaami in the picture, I will no more put my name behind it, even if it is not important anymore.”
“Your name is important.”
He smiled, swallowing the ball of saliva that rose at that declaration.
“One thing I regret,” he voiced out loud.
“Mmm?”
Atharva glanced down at his wife — “I had plans. Really big ones, ambitious ones. Twelve years. If I had gotten twelve years… I won’t be able to do that for Kashmir now. With Awaami and Momina Aslam in government, funding to militancy will resume, many will be let out of jails, camps will run openly again…” The hair on his arms stood to attention thinking about where a society that had just begun to look upwards go again when regressed. To live in status quo was one thing. To be shown a bright future, step towards it, and then be pulled down again tore the collective psyche of a people. His people.
A warm hand wrapped around his forearm. It slid down and her fingers meshed through his. They interlocked, tight. Iram’s head rose from his chest and she stared into his eyes.
“You made every effort possible to change this. I see your intentions, I see your conscience. If it was not meant to happen, it will not happen. Isn’t that what you told me Bhagwad Gita says?”
He felt his face stretch, as did his neck, until his lips were pressing into her temple. Her fingers tightened around his.
