Page 85 of Hide and Sneak
Lila looks over at Amos, stunned, and he nods. “He picked me up in it and we switched seats when we got pulled over.” He looks up at me. “I went to juvenile detention for three months for you and you fucked mysister.”
“I’m sorry that I let you take the blame, but I’ve done everything I could to make it up to you. I’ve paid your rent andbills for years because I owed you. But I’m not giving her up. I can’t.”
The heaviest silence settles over the room as none of us seems to know what to say next. Dusty chooses that moment to trot in and drop the butt plug on Amos’s foot.
“Gross! Dusty, no. Get it away from me.” He kicks it and Dusty chases it down the hall, bringing it back. What a time for him to finally understand how to fetch.
The sight of tears in Lila’s eyes rips a piece from my heart. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
The truth is the only option now. “I don’t know. I wanted to. I hoped it wouldn’t matter, but you already disliked me for things I did as a teenager. I didn’t expect this to happen between us. I didn’t expect to fall for you.”
Amos starts arguing again and she holds up her hand. “Enough.”
She stalks back to my bedroom and returns with her bag and Dusty’s leash. “Don’t leave,” I plead. “Let me explain.” I seem to be saying that a lot lately.
“I’m going to stay at my place. Alone.” Her red eyes land on Amos. “If you wanted to come back and ruin everything, congratulations, you did it.”
“It’s not my fault that he?—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” she says, cutting him off.
I catch her wrist. “Lila, we need to talk about this, please.” She pauses and takes a deep breath, but won’t look at me. “Not right now. I need to think. Make sure you get the last of your stuff moved and put the keys in the drop box.”
She shakes my hand off when I try to take hers. “No, I’m too pissed off. You need to give me some space tonight. I don’t want to say anything I don’t mean.”
“Kind of late for that,” Amos scoffs.
He steps back at the blazing look she gives him. “I meant every word. You aren’t my responsibility. You aren’t even a decent person. No decent person abandons their kid. Run back to tell Mom or whatever, I don’t care. I’m done.”
She walks out, taking Dusty with her. Every ounce of me wants to chase after her. To tell her what my circumstances were back then and hope she understands. But I don’t. She told me what she needs right now and it’s space to think. All I can do is hope she’ll talk to me when she’s ready.
Amos doesn’t say a word as he picks up his bag and leaves. I don’t know where he’s going and I couldn’t give a fuck. It feels like he’s cost me the most important thing in the world.
CHAPTER 29
LILA
Anger wasmy predominant feeling when I left, but by the time I get to my place, my emotions are a rioting mess. The day was going so well and I didn’t see any of this coming.
Sutton is in love with me. I can’t even describe the way I felt when he screamed those words at Amos. They stopped my outrage in its tracks. The little grin on his face as he told me I shouldn’t be so shocked. Maybe I shouldn’t be. The truth is we were in a relationship long before we defined it.
We’ve spent every evening and most weekends together. Ate dinner together, spent countless hours cuddled on the couch, and screwed each other’s brains out most nights. I admitted that I was catching feelings for him. Well, now they’re caught. I’m in love with him too.
It’s late, but I know I won’t be able to fall asleep anytime soon so I bundle up to sit on my little balcony. The street is empty and faintly illuminated by a streetlight. This should be a happy time. The equipment I ordered is being delivered tomorrow. I can have this place open in two weeks. I should be excited, and I am, but it’s dulled by everything else whirling around my head.
I remember the day Amos got arrested. Mom was devastated. How was her baby supposed to survive being locked up? If shecould’ve sent me instead, I don’t doubt she would have. She came up with every excuse in the book for his behavior and swore there was no way it could be his fault.
For once, she was right. I’m not sure if I’m more surprised that Amos would voluntarily take the blame for his friend or that Sutton would let him. And lie about it for so long. There must be good in Amos for him to have done that. Sutton must’ve felt bad since he’s spent all these years making it up to him.
I don’t expect anyone to be perfect. I’ve made plenty of mistakes, especially when I was a teenager. I love Sutton and he loves me. Am I really going to throw all that away for something that happened nearly ten years ago? Something that was between him and my brother?
My head begins to thump. The answer isn’t going to come to me tonight, and I need to be up early for a long day tomorrow. Crawling into my bed alone feels wrong. I already miss him. It feels like forever before I finally doze off.
I’ve only been awake long enough to have a cup of coffee when Sutton texts me.
Sutton
I’m sorry. Can we talk?
