Page 18 of Hide and Sneak
“Thank you…Delilah.”
Her eyes narrow in my direction as one of the older women speaks up. “I didn’t know Lila was short for Delilah. I love that name. I have a ferret named Delilah.”
I’m not sure if that’s meant to be a compliment, but Lila takes no offense to it. “I like it okay but nobody really calls me that. Lila has stuck since I was a baby.” She turns her attention back to me. “Are you allergic? Because that doesn’t look good.”
“No, it’s fine. Are you worried about me? That’s so sweet.”
“I don’t want you dying here. It’ll be a mess to clean up.” She looks past me to Amos. “There’s some Benadryl in the bathroom cabinet.”
“Good idea.”
The woman with the ferret stands up, swirling her wine glass in her hand. “Introduce us to this poor, injured man.” Through one eye, I watch her sweep her gaze over me from head to foot. “You’re all dirt and muscles, aren’t you?”
She has to be twenty-five years older than me. I’m not even sure how to answer that.
Lila is happy to jump in. “This is Sutton, Amos’s friend. Sutton, this is Louise.”
“Nice to meet you,” I mumble, holding the ice on my eye.
Amos returns and hands me a pill as Lila introduces us to everyone that we don’t already know. After saying hello, Amosrubs a hand over his chin. “Right, if you’re sure you’re okay, I’m going to shower and get ready to go.”
“I’m fine.”
“As a summer day,” Rita pipes up, and now I’m being ogled by a woman who must be in her seventies.
“Did we interrupt a party?” I ask.
“Book club,” Lila replies.
“Dirty romance book club,” Louise corrects. “I do yoga, you know. Keeps me nice and flexible.”
“They aren’t dirty,” Maren argues. “They’re romantic.”
Cara grins at her. “Girl, a stalker showing up in your bedroom is not romantic.”
“Depends on what he looks like and how well he eats pussy,” Rita argues with a shrug.
All of them crack up and a conversation begins discussing the merits of attractive stalkers. I grab a beer from the fridge and go out to sit on the porch.
My reflection in my phone’s camera kills any thought of going out tonight since I look ridiculous. Still, I’m happy with how much we got accomplished today. Tomorrow, I can finish up and get a better idea of what repairs the shed will need.
From my seat in the corner of the porch, I can see and hear Lila and her friends talking through the kitchen window, but they can’t see me in the darkness. It sounds like they’re trying to choose the next book they’re going to read. Who knew romance had so many genres and tropes?
“Can we please avoid insta love this time?” Cara asks.
“You don’t believe in love at first sight?” Rita asks. “That’s how it was for me and my late husband.”
“It’s not that. But it’s hard to take these girls seriously when they’re melting down over a guy they haven’t known for a week.I can’t imagine my life without him.Really? Think back to Thursday.”
“You have to suspend your disbelief. Most of this wouldn’t be cool in real life,” Maren says. “Like could you imagine a man ordering you to crawl to him? I think the fuck not.”
Holly slaps the table lightly, leaning over. “Oh my god, I had a guy say something I swear he must’ve seen in a book. We’d only been on two dates, and it was our first time sleeping together. He put it in, stopped to stare at me and did this deep fake voice.” She drops her tone. “Look me in the eye. You are mine.”
“No,” Maren groans. “What did you say?”
“Well, all I could think of was the pirate in that movie with Tom Hanks.” She deepens her voice again. “Look at me, I’m the captain now.” Shrugging, she picks up her glass of lemonade. “He got mad when I laughed.”
These women are brutal. Once their laughter dies down, Cara makes a suggestion. “This one looks good. It just released. It’s a brother’s best friend trope.”
