Page 58 of Alex
“Yes,”he mumbles, stepping back, his face red. “What do we have to do?”
“Mason’sgoing to look into it. It’ll be a few months.”
“Okay.”He suddenly finds his feet interesting.
“Webetter get back before Cody wears a hole in the ground looking for you.”Grinning ear to ear, he bursts through the backdoor.
Alexcomes in a few seconds later. “Is everything okay?”
“Neverbeen better.” His reaction when I explain what we were discussing is exactlywhat I’d expect of him. He kisses me hard on the lips.
“You’retoo damn good to be true.”
* * * *
Theday of the execution comes with storms and torrential rain. The temperature hasbeen over eighty, way above normal for spring, and now we’re paying for it.Alex has been withdrawn and sullen for days. Nothing I say helps and it killsme to see him suffer when there’s nothing I can do.
Masonand Parker have both tried to talk him out of attending the execution, but hewon’t be swayed. “I need to know he’s gone,” he says, as I try again to get himnot to go. “You don’t have to be there.”
“I’llbe there, babe. You know that.”
Theprison requires the witnesses to be present two hours before the execution. Ihave no idea why until we drive up to the prison gates and are instantlysurrounded by protesters. Men and women who have nothing better to do thanmarch in the rain and scream at our car. Flipping the locks, I grab Alex’shand. His nerves are raw enough without this shit.
Wewait, and try to ignore the yelling while guards let one car in at a time. Whenwe reach the front of the line, we show our ID’s and are given a special badgeto show to the officers inside. Wet and pissed off, the guards close the gatebehind us, shoving a few of the protesters back.
Sinceit’s late, I expect the prison to be quiet, but it’s far from it. The clankingof metal on metal is accompanied by shouts and hoots from the prisoners.There’s a hum in the air, like I can feel their excitement and expectation. Aman will die tonight, killed by the system who put him away for doing the same.I’ve always been against the death penalty, but there’s no way I was going toshare that with Alex. If he thinks this is what he needs to move on, I’m withhim.
We’reled to a long room with three rows of folding chairs, a few of them alreadyoccupied by witnesses. At the far end, a curtain covers a long window. Theguard who’s leading us gestures to his right. “There’s a restroom there if youneed it.”
“Thanks,”I murmur, leading Alex to the back row of seats. His face is pale and drawn asthe reality starts to set in. “Hey, we don’t have to do this. We can go. Waitin the lobby until it’s over if you want.”
Astubborn shake of his head says it all. For better or worse, we’re in it untilit’s over. The curtain slides to the right, revealing a metal table with anI.V. stand beside it. Two uniformed corrections officers lead in a dark headedfrail man, and Alex’s breathing speeds up. He swallows hard, trying not to showany emotion as his father stares at him. The entire time they’re strapping himto the table and inserting the I.V. his eyes never leave Alex’s face.
Ican’t imagine the fear I’d feel being strapped down to a table, knowing I’llnever get up again. I slide my arm around Alex’s shoulders, but he doesn’t seemto notice. When the officer in charge asks him if he wants to make a finalstatement, Gene continues to stare at Alex and says, “I loved my boys. All ofthem. Loved my boys.”
Hefinally breaks eye contact and stares at the ceiling as the officer nods to thedoctor standing against the wall. The doctor presses a button and a smallmachine administers the drugs, one after the other. Alex buries his face in myshoulder, his eyes squeezed shut. “I can’t.”
Myown heart is beating a mile a minute. I don’t have any compassion for the manwho killed my boyfriend’s mother, but still, I’ve never seen a man die. It’s amind fuck to say the least. I make sure not to show it. If ever Alex needs meto be solid, it’s now. “I’ve got you,” I murmur in his ear, cupping his head.“I’ll tell you when it’s over.”
There’snone of the shaking or foaming at the mouth that I feared. He just stopsbreathing. The doctor checks his pulse and nods to the officer, who closes thecurtain. It’s finished. “They closed the curtain, it’s okay.”
Alexopens his eyes. “He’s gone.”
“Yes.”
“Getme out of here. I hate it here.”
Ilock my arm around his waist and we head for the exit. “You never have to comehere again.”
Alexis quiet on the ride home, only speaking once to ask me to be careful. It’sreally foggy tonight now that the rain has stopped, and I know he’s thinking ofthe night Cooper died. They were on their way out of town when Cooper missed acurve because of thick fog. I want to say something to help him, to breakthrough his somber thoughts, but there’s nothing I can say. Nothing I can do tobring back the people he’s lost.
Whenwe get home, I pour him a double shot of whiskey and he throws it back, thenheads to his room. “I need a shower.”
I’min over my head. His brothers should be here. They’re the only ones who canunderstand how he feels. No sooner than I pick up the phone, there’s a knock atmy door, and Parker, Mason, Macy, and Everly come in. Mason raises an eyebrowat me and I gesture toward his room. “He’s upset, but not really talking. He’sin his room.”
“Heshouldn’t have gone,” Parker gripes.
“Hewouldn’t be talked out of it,” I tell them, and Mason nods. Parker follows himback to Alex’s room, while Ev and Macy settle on the couch, playing with thepuppy.
