Page 20 of Alex
“I’llgive it a shot. And you and my brothers can stop worrying, Ev. I’m doing fine.Staying busy.”
“I’mglad to hear it. By the way, Mason called the school to check on Kyle. Hereally likes it there.” Kyle. Shit, how did I forget? In two weeks, he’ll know.He’ll have to if he’s here when Ian’s sick. Oh well, there’s no help for it.
“Good.Ian’s like an old worried mother.”
Evlaughs. “He’s sweet. I have to go. Call me anytime, Alex. Love ya.”
“Loveya back.” I flop onto my bed feeling like the slime at the bottom of a lake.Once Ian is past the shock of all this, I need to try to convince him not tokeep his illness a secret.
Hecomes home early in the evening with a large bucket of chicken and sides from afast food restaurant. Silently, we fill our plates and watch The Walking Dead.I’ve only recently managed to turn him onto the show. I guess he’ll have plentyof time to binge watch in the near future. When we’re finished eating and theshow is over, I glance at him, eyebrows raised.
Hesighs and sits beside me on the couch. “Surgery is day after tomorrow. They’llremove one ball and replace it with a fake one. It’s outpatient, so I’ll behome the same day.”
“Willyou have to do chemo or radiation?”
“Thatwill depend on the lab results. I’ll know about five to ten days after thesurgery. The oncologist wants me to do at least one cycle no matter theresults, but if it has spread, it could be more. If I’m lucky, one round is onetreatment, and I’ll be sick for a few weeks.”
“I’mso fucking sorry this is happening to you,” I tell him, and he nods.
“I’llhave to be tested every few months for years, but if everything goes right, andit hasn’t spread, this will all be over in six weeks or so. I took two monthsoff of work.”
“Evcalled while you were at the doctor.” I hold up my palm as he opens his mouthto protest. “I didn’t tell her. I lied my ass off. Told her we were doing majorrenovations on Arthur’s side and you took some vacation time to work on it.”
Darkanxious eyes meet mine. “Did she buy it?”
“Seemedto. Ian, would it really be so terrible for her to find out? Wouldn’t you wantto know if she was sick?”
Hescrubs his palms over his face. “Of course I would, but this is different.She’s pregnant and her blood pressure is already an issue. I won’t worry herwith this. Promise me.”
Witha sigh, I capitulate. “If that’s what you want. What time is your surgery?”
“Eighto’clock in the morning and I can’t eat after midnight the night before. Ishould be released by one or two. They won’t let me take a cab home afteranesthesia, so if you could pick me up…”
Igape at him. “I suddenly feel like I’m depriving some village of its idiot. Doyou actually think you’re going alone?”
“It’sa minor outpatient procedure.”
“ThatI’ll be there for. Forget it,” I snap when he starts to argue. “I’m going.Fucking deal with it.”
“Fine,”he growls. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, he turns to me. “Thankyou.”
Iwrap my arms around him, and pull him into a hug. After a moment’s hesitation,his arms tighten around me. “You’re going to be okay.”
Ilove being in his arms, even though the circumstances suck. It’s not the firsttime we’ve held one another. In the weeks after Cooper’s death, he would oftencomfort me, but I was too buried in grief to think about how good it felt. Howgood he smells, how strong his arms are. Shit. I’m supposed to be reassuringhim, not fantasizing.
Irelease him and we go back to watching T.V. like everything is normal.
Thenext day drags by. Ian is sullen and withdrawn. I try to get him to run errandswith me to get his mind off of things, but he refuses, curling up on the couchto watch T.V. instead. “I’ll be back in a few hours. Text if you think ofanything else you need.”
“Gardenshears. We’ll just get it over with tonight.”
“Can’ttake the chance we’ll miss and lop off your tiny penis.” An empty water bottle bouncesoff the door as I shut it behind me just in time.
Iwant to make sure we don’t have to leave the house for the next few days, so Ihit the ATM for some cash and then the grocery store. I load up on theessentials and throw in the ingredients to make a pan of pizza baked spaghetti.It’s Ian’s favorite and I have a feeling it would be good for him to gain a fewpounds before chemo takes it back.
Thegaming store beside the grocery bears a sign advertising a new release I overheardIan and Kyle talking about. Or drooling over. With everything that’s happened,he’s forgotten, so I make a quick trip inside and add it to my pile of items.Maybe it’ll cheer him up after the surgery.
I’mloaded down with bags and struggling to open the front door when it opens. Askinny blonde walks through with an embarrassed giggle. “Sorry!” She holds thedoor open for me, then quickly heads to her car after I thank her.
