Page 19 of Alex
Iknow he’s drunk and upset, but he’s pissing me off. “Fine, I’ll just callEverly and see what she thinks.”
Hishand darts out and grabs my arm hard enough to leave a bruise. “Don’t you daretell Ev a thing. She’ll worry.”
“I’mworried. Do you have cancer?”
“Youcan’t tell anyone,” he snaps.
“Fine,but tell me.”
“Nutcancer. They’re going to chop it off, throw it in a furnace somewhere. Thatwhat you wanted to know?” He climbs up the bed and his head hits the pillow.“Go away, Alex.”
Thecrack in his voice betrays how upset he really is. I’ve never seen Ian cry, andhe’s not now, not really, just fighting it. I’m sure the alcohol doesn’t help.I lie beside him and lay a hand on his arm. His chest shudders through a longsigh and he passes out. After listening to him snore for a few minutes, Iretire to my bed to toss and turn.
Idon’t know how he manages to drink like that without being hungover, but henever seems to struggle with it. When he steps out of the shower the nextmorning and sees I’m waiting, he asks, “What are you doing up and dressed soearly?”
“Goingto your doctor’s appointment with you.”
“Thehell you are. This is my problem. I don’t need you holding my hand.” He yanks asweater over his head.
“Meor Ev, that’s the deal. You aren’t dealing with cancer on your own.”
Glaringat me, he snaps, “You’re not going into the exam room. I don’t need you watchinga guy examining my balls.”
“I’llwait in the waiting room if you promise to tell me what the doctor says. Whatthe treatment plan is.”
Sighing,he runs a hand through his hair. “If you swear to keep it between us. I meanit, Alex. I don’t want anyone to know.”
“Iwon’t tell anyone. I just want to help, the way you helped me through the pastfew months. Let me repay the favor.”
Hegives a reluctant nod and tosses me his keys. “You drive, then.”
* * * *
Judgingby the expression on Ian’s face, he isn’t pleased with the doctor’s plan. He’squiet all the way home, and I resist the urge to question him until he has timeto process the news. He goes straight to his room and changes into his workclothes. “You’re going to work?”
“Ineed to tie up a few loose ends and file for a leave of absence.”
“Whenis your surgery? Are they doing chemo or radiation? Is…”
Hesteps back and shakes his head. “Tonight, okay. I’ll tell you everythingtonight. Just keep your mouth shut in the meantime.”
“Allright. Call me if you need anything. Like it or not, Ian, I’m here and I’mgoing to be beside you until you’re well. I don’t recall you giving me muchchoice about moving in after Cooper’s death.”
“Nogood deed goes unpunished,” he grumbles, and heads out the door.
Ispend a few hours online learning all I can about testicular cancer. It’s hardto know what to expect without knowing what stage he has, but none of it looksfun. Surgery, chemotherapy, radiation. Weeks or months or even years of it,depending on whether the cancer has spread. I’m relieved to see it’s one of themost treatable cancers with a very high survival rate.
It’salso one of the most damaging to men psychologically. Losing a testicle, a partof what makes one male, can be devastating, especially to someone like Ian, whodefines himself through sex and success with women. I see a hard few monthsahead at the least. I don’t know how he thinks he’s going to keep Everly fromfinding out.
Asif she heard her name in my thoughts, Ev calls. “You weren’t at the gym today,so I just wanted to check in,” she says, nonchalant. Still checking up on me.What the hell am I supposed to tell her? I’m obviously going to be spendingmore time with Ian, doctor’s visits and chemo and everything, so how do I keepher and my brothers from worrying and breathing down our necks?
“Sorry,I meant to call. Ian and I are doing a remodel on Arthur’s kitchen andbathroom. His plumbing is a mess. Ian’s kind of burnt out at work, so he’staking some vacation time to work on the house. Tell Mason I’ll be busy herefor a while, would you?”
“Okay.”There’s doubt in her voice as she asks, “Ian took vacation time?”
“Yep.Guess he had a bunch saved up.” God, I hate lying to Ev. It’s going to suckbeing caught in the middle, but right now, Ian has to be my priority. I don’tknow how I’d have made it through the last few months without him.
“Hedoes. He never takes time off. Leave it to him to use it to work somewhereelse. Hey! Maybe you could try to get him to use some of the time for an actualvacation. It’d be good for him.”
